Tuesday, November 16, 2010

DAY 40 OF THE DARE: LOVE IS A COVENANT MADE TO BE UNBROKEN!

"Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God"- Ruth 1:16


Wow! Can you believe it!? We have reached the forty days! Amazing, unbelieveable and so awesome! Thank you so much for joining me in this or following along with this challenge and my blog. I am so excited for all of you! I hope that you have gone on to experience a new journey in your life and/or marriage. I hope from this, you have gained some wisdom and most importantly, joy. I hope you have received the love that God offers to you and I pray you have embraced His forgiveness upon your life and desire to extend that forgiveness to others.

Now for today, though the forty days is up, my strong desire is that you would not give up and would continue to allow this challenge to be a part of your everyday life. Just because this is over doesn't mean you give up! Continue to desire to change as person and grow closer to God daily. Continue to desire to improve your marriage and family. Strive for better in every aspect of your life! You can do this! Choose to dive into Gods Word and use this challenge as a guideline to help you.! Remind yourself what love is and the pieces that make love to be real! Remind yourself that it is patient and kind and its not rude or jealous! Remind yourself of Christs forgiveness towards you and how you should be "Christlike". Tomorrow if you choose start over at Day 1 again! (I am going to do it as well)!

Remember your Marriage is a CONVENANT, not a CONTRACT! The two words sound similar in meaning and intent but are in reality much different. A contract is written based on distrust, outlining the conditions and consequences if broken. A convenant is a verbal commitment based on trust, assuring someone that your promise is unconditional and good for life. It is spoken before God out of love for the other. A contract is self-serving (based on negativity), it establishes a time frame of accomplishes met. A convenant benefits others (based on positivity) it comes with unlimited responsibility and has no expiration date! A contract can be broken with mutual consent and a convenant is intended to be unbreakable. The word "convenant" is actually in the bible. Several convenants were made between God and His people and they were never broken! God was always faithful in keeping His promise and remained faithful though His people were not.

Today choose to look at your marriage as a convenant, made to be unbroken. Don't look at it as a contract....don't put a time limit on your marriage....remain faithful in keeping your promise! Even if your spouse is not receiving your love try and hang on. Be faithful to them and God. Keep trying....challenge yourself everyday. Choose today to renew your "convenant" with your spouse and with God. Choose to surrender this covenant of marriage to God...so He can bless it and secure it. Hand over your marriage and spouse to God. Let Him be your Savior. never let go of this beautiful gift God has given you. There is complete hope in Christ. There is complete healing and restoration through Him. Never look at your marriage as a contract again. Don't look at it with negativity but look at it as a positive thing...eager to see what God is going to do....allow Him to work Miracles!

THE DARE: literally choose to renew your covenant....write out a renenwal of vows....start fresh. Choose to keep going and never give up.....you are DARED TOO ;) LET CHRIST RULE YOUR HEART AND MARRIAGE....MAKE A CONVENANT WITH GOD TO LIVE IN OBEDIENCE WITH HIM AND TO NEVER BREAK YOUR MARRIAGE VOWS.


God bless you on this continuous journey....may you continue to live out the challenge of putting Christ first and your spouse second....praying you keeping going and don't give up.

Monday, November 15, 2010

DAY 39 OF THE LOVE DARE: LOVE ENDURES

"LOVE NEVER FAILS."-1 Corinthians 13:8


I am truly amazed at this journey....39 days of embracing Christ and His love. I am so Grateful for this experience. It hasn't been easy but its taught me a lot. Today is important, an ultimate DARE. Though your love has been threatened, it keeps pursuing. Though challenged it keeps moving forward. Though mistreated and rejected, it refuses to give up. LOVE NEVER FAILS.

Many times in a marriage crisis it seems to be that the couple is always at a hit or miss. Its similar to the story of Romeo and Juliet. They were always missing eachother not aware of their sarafices and undying love. I notice when the one who wants to keep making it work and makes their spouse aware and the spouse refuses to let down their walls and try, the one who wanted it too work gives up! Then it becomes a crazy cycle of cat n mouse. Why can't we ever just be on the same path at the same time?!

My encouragement to you today is tell you to keep on going. You may have tried this challenge but feel it hasn't made any difference. You may feel all its done is cause you to hurt more and put you on an emotional rollercoaster. (I understand, trust me) But please don't keep trying. Give this your all and keep on fighting. Let down your guard to your spouse completely. Don't withdrawl yourself because you feel rejected. Ask yourself, has this changed you from the inside out? Have you learned to forgive? Have you learned of Christs unconditional love for you? In this time have you grown closer to God and become more dependent upon Him to meet your needs? If you answered yes to any of these questions then this has not been done in vain. Gods love is unending and unstoppable...our love should do our best to be the same. If your spouse doesn't choose to receive your love, keep giving anyway. Jesus did with Peter right before His crucifixtion. Peter denied Christ three times and Jesus still turned and looked at Peter. He loved Peter and knew his faults, regardless, Jesus did not give up loving Peter through the rejection.

When you have done everything within your power to obey God, your spouse may still forsake you and walk away just as Jesus' followers did to Him. But if your marriage fails, if your spouse walks away, let it not be because you gave up and walked away. Love never fails. Bear the fruits of the Spirit with your spouse (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control). Where these attributes as part of you Armor. The greatest is Love....let the Holy Spirit dwell in your heart so love can continue to overflow out of you. You will shine. Your inside changing will change your outside. You will be radiant. You will become "attractive" once again to them but this time it may be your heart that they fall in love with. Be spotless in their sight. Let God continue to change you and perfect those areas of your life where you struggle the most. Regardless, God will bless you greatly for choosing to live for Him.

A few days ago we were dared to build our marriage on the Word of God because when all else may fail, the truth of God will always be standing and never changing. We have also been dared to be patient, unselfish, and sacrafice our needs for our spouses. All these dares have been based on Gods Word...Don't let your Love fail. Today use Gods Word to speak through you to your spouse. Love never fails so today put your unfailing love in the most powerful and personal words. Put these words on paper. Share with them your unfailing love. Tell them you forgive them for everything they have done and no matter how often they have done it. Apologize for your treatment to them in the past, asking forgiveness once again. Pour out your heart on paper...pour out Christs love upon them. Tell them they are a gift from God and promise to love them and be there for them til death. Vow to be a different person....vow to be the person God has asked you to be. Tell them even if they don't like you or what they are reading that you still choose to love them...forever! Because Love never fails.

THE DARE: TAKE SOME TIME TO DIVE INTO THE WORD OF GOD TODAY. PRAY ABOUT WRITING THIS LETTER AND PRAY FOR THE WORDS. COMMIT TO YOUR MARRIAGE. COMMIT TO NEVER GIVING UP AND LETTING YOUR LOVE FAIL. PLACE THE LETTER IN A PLACE THEY WILL SEE IT.

PRAYING FOR MIRACLES YOUR WAY. GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP MOVING YOU.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

DAY 38 OF THE LOVE DARE: LOVE FULFILLS DREAMS!

"DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD AND HE WILL GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART"-Psalm 37:4


Love sometimes needs to be extravagant. Sometimes you need to go all out, without resisting or holding back. Love needs to set aside all the "what ifs" and other technicalities and just bless because it wants too. We need to put our whole heart into our marriages and other relationships. It has too ALL, if not it will appear to be nothing. You can't reach someone with half-hearted motive, that will never win them over. Your love for your spouse should be the kind of love that wants to fulfill every dream and desire of THEIRS! Love sacrafices to put your desires aside and finds away to make them happy.I'm not talking about spending money and maxing out your credit cards (that would be awesome, but not practical or wise). There are others ways to fulfill your spouses dreams....

Gods love has met our needs and we don't always deserve it. We are so imperfect, loaded with sin, yet God forgives and loves us so much. He looks after us, provides and protects us, and if we truly delight in Him, gives us the desires of our heart. Gods love is our model. His love is what we should imitate. Your spouse may be far from perfect but they are still deserving of your whole-hearted love.

Not everything your spouse wants has to be bought at a high price. Not everything they desire costs money. They can desire your time and attention. They can long for your touch, a hug, or long kiss. They can be dreaming that you would just treat them with honor and unconditional love and respect. Your spouse may pray with all their heart that you decide to put God first and then them. Your spouses ultimate desire may just be that you think they are the most gorgeous thing that walked this planet. Dreams and desires come in all shapes, sizes and forms. They aren't always those things that are so easily tangible or replaced. Its not always materlistic things boughtt at a ridiculous price. Your love should be priceless.....their should be no set amount on what you would do for them. Your love should take notice of their every dream n desire. Love calls you to listen to what they hope for. Love calls you to remember things that bring a smile to their face. Love calls you to give when it feels inconvenient. Love calls you to constantly be thinking of their desires and possibly making them yours as well. Love shares dreams and fulfills them together.

THE DARE: WHAT IS SOMETHING YOUR SPOUSE WOULD REALLY LOVE? WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR SPOUSES DREAMS OR DESIRES? TODAY I DARE YOU TO OVERWHELM YOUR SPOUSE WITH A LOVE LIKE GODS LOVE. PUT ASIDE THE FACT THAT THEY TOO CAN BE IMPERFECT AND FORGIVE, SACRAFICE AND COMMIT TO FULFILLING THEIR DREAMS. START PRAYING ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN DO TO SHOW THEM YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT THEY DESIRE. DECIDE TO DO WHAT YOU CAN....REMEMBERING THAT SOME DESIRES CANNOT BE BOUGHT AT ANY PRICE.

PRAYING FOR ALL YOUR DREAMS AND DESIRES. PRAYING THAT AS YOU DELIGHT IN CHRIST AND VOW TO LOVE YOUR SPOUSE WITH ALL YOU HAVE, THAT GOD WILL FULFILL ALL YOUR DREAMS. GOD BLESS YOU.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

DAY 37: LOVE AGREES IN PRAYER....A FAMILY THAT PRAYERS TOGETHER, STAYS TOGETHER

"If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father.-Matthew 18:19


You have all heard the term,"A family that prays together stays together...," I believe it to be a proven fact. Marriage tends to improve almost 100%....for many godly couples the one thing that has held their family together and helped draw them closer, is "daily prayer" together.
It not only helps a marriage last but also brings about more respect, deeper love and heightens the level of sexual intimacy. There is more power in prayer than we believe and it can work wonders in every level of your relationship.

When you married God gave you a permanent prayer partner for life. We are joined to come together in prayer for every circumstance and every decision. What's beautiful about it, is the team work involved. When one is feeling weak the other can be strong and take over in prayer. Its great accountability. When one is dealing with certain fears, anxieties, and insecurities the other can take their spouses hands and pray for them. Wouldn't that just bring so much love, joy and respect if your spouse did that for you? Instead of taking out the tool box and trying to fix the problems on your own, they just PRAYED. If you guys were in the middle of an arguement and one of you just stopped and prayed...would you be able to fight any longer? I doubt it, how can you continue to be angry at such honorable intent? This should become an automatic response whenever you face a situation in life that you don't have an answer too. Come together and be in agreeance in prayer and allow God to bring you the answers.

Praying for your spouse leads your heart to care more deeply for them but more importantly this pleases God. It brings protection against outside problems. It brings strength and guards your marriage with Armor! God loves to see you humbling yourselves together and seeking His face. His blessings begin to pour out on you more when you get on your knees and give Him your hearts. I know that not many couples are uncomfortable with this but in this midst of disagreeing and bitterness, it breaks down the walls. When there is chaos in your home and you intervene with prayer, it quiets loud voices and lessens the pain. Its so important that your children and the people around you see this example. God wants us to communicate and invite Him into our homes, our marriages and our chaotic life...He wants to help us in those times and if we fully give Him our whole hearts and do it together, His presence will be there. Its the best way to open the doors of communication with God and your spouse....

THE DARE: ASK YOUR SPOUSE IF YOU CAN BEGIN PRAYING TOGETHER AND FIGURE OUT A TIME TO DO IT..(MORNING BEFORE LEAVING THE HOUSE OR BEFORE BED ETC...) USE THIS TIME TO BRING FORTH YOUR CONCERNS, DISAGREEMENTS AND NEEDS BEFORE GOD. BE AGREEANCE WITH ONE ANOTHER...INVITE GOD IN. IN THE MIDST OF A DISAGREEMENT TRY TO STOP AND PRAY....SEE IF THIS CHANGES THINGS. IF YOUR SPOUSE IS RESISTANT...THEN YOU KEEP PRAYING, DON'T GIVE UP AND TRY AN INTIATE PRAYER WITH THEM.

GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOUR EYES FOCUSED ON HIM....DON'T BE DISTRACTED BY EARTHLY MATTERS. PRAYING FOR THE DEEP CONNECTION YOU LONG FOR WITH YOUR SPOUSE AND GOD.

Friday, November 12, 2010

DAY 36 OF THE LOVE DARE: LOVE is GODS WORD!

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."-Psalm 119:105


B asic
I nstruction
B efore
L eaving
E arth

The Bible is Gods way of communicating with us. Its our instruction to living a life of joy on this Earth, it give us guidance and direction. Every answer to a problem exists in the Bible by word or example. We can always apply it to our everyday life. Gods plan for our life exists in His Word and daily we should be diving into it seeking His answers not ours.

Many of us believe we are in control of our own destiny and we control our life. This can be furthest from the Truth. God is in control of our life. However, He gave us freedom to make our own choices because he loves us. When you love someone you let them go, you allow them to be free and make their own decisions while praying they will love you in return. When you try and control their every move they will run from you and resent you. This is God with us, God doesnt want us to run from him and He doesnt want to control our every move and choice. We arent his puppets tied to a string. He is the God of all Wisdom and knows the meaning of true love. He wants us to experience life to the fullest, He wants us to decide where we want to go and who we want to be with but He is always watching and waiting for you to acknowledge Him. He desires from you to come to Him, loving and seeking Him daily. He gives us that ability through prayer, worship and His Word.

I dont know all the hardships you have faced in your life nor do I have all the answers. But I do know that God does. He has a plan for the way you handle your finances. A plan for the way you raise your children. A plan for the way you treat your body, how you spend your time and how you handle conflict. He also has an ultimate plan how you handle your marriage. He is our Maker and know exactly what we need and what we should do and its all in the Bible! Our instruction and guidance is right there for us to see and when we choose not to follow it our life will be chaos! God has the right plan outlined for us to live by and apply it, he is just waiting for you!

His Scripture is a light to our path.....it leads the way towards joy and Eternity. If we know God, its important we commit to His Word daily so we can grow closer with Him and our spouse (and family and friends). We need to stop being lazy and do it! Choose today to:

1) BE IN IT- make it a habit daily. make it your routine...get up and read it with your spouse as well...even if its for 10 minutes. If you practice this daily you will grow and learn things you never knew. God will bring you more wisdom and more knowledge. The Bible is a strengthening tool for our heart and mind. You will begin to desire it and hunger for it more and more. God will reveal amazing things to you and it will begin to fill voids in your life. You will feel His presence and Holy Spirit move with in you. You may not feel like it but it may take a step of being obedient before your heart is fully in it. I guarantee you through obedience God blesses you and your heart will change.

2) STAY UNDER IT- The Bible can be deeply challenging and hard to understand so its important you find a Bible teaching church or a Bible study to join or even look for daily devotionals to help guide you through it.

3) LIVE IT- the Bible is a living book, taken to be applied to and lived by. Reading it will change your heart but living it will also change your life. The Word lives because it becomes a part of who you are. James 1:22 says,"Prove yourselves doers of the word and not merely hearers." When we become Christians, we carry Christs name so its important we be the best example possible to those around us. We are human, and make mistakes but its important we do not give God a bad name. So we are to be wise in how we live. I think this is the most challenging part especially in our own homes.

Every aspect of your life you submit to Gods principles will grow stronger and more long lasting over time. But any part of your life (finances, health, children, and your marriage role) that you choose to withhold from Him and handle on your own, will weaken, crumble and fail when the storms of life come. Be careful of which aspect you choose not let go of, for most marriages it can be "money" and most marriages end in divorce because they choose to control that aspect of their life instead of following Gods plan. Dont allow your way to mess up the beautiful life God has for you. Be wise...build your house or your life on Gods plan. Seek His Ways in His Word.

THE DARE: COMMIT TO READING THE BIBLE EVERYDAY. FIND A DEVOTIONAL BOOK OR OTHER RESOURCE AS WELL TO HELP GUIDE YOU THROUGH IT. FEED YOURSELF DAILY AND APPLY IT. IF YOUR SPOUSE IS OPEN TO IT, COMMIT TO READ WITH THEM AS WELL. LOOK AT YOUR LIFE AND "YOUR" PLAN....IS THERE AN AREA OF YOUR LIFE (MARRIAGE) THAT YOU HAVE NOT FULLY SUBMITTED TO GOD? WHAT AREAS OF YOUR LIFE ARE IN GREATEST NEED FOR GODS CARE AND COUNSEL? PRAY ABOUT THOSE AREAS WHERE YOU FEEL YOU MAY BE HEADED TOWARDS FAILURE AND LET GO...FIND THE ANSWER IN GODS PLAN. SURRENDER ALL.

PRAYING FOR REVELATION IN YOUR LIFE. PRAYING GOD REVEALS HIS PLAN AND PRAYING THAT YOU WOULD TAKE TIME DAILY TO READ, SEEK GOD, AND LIVE IT. GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

DAY 35: LOVE IS ACCOUNTABLE AND NEEDS COUNSEL!

"PLANS FAIL FOR LACK OF COUNSEL,BUT WITH MANY ADVISERS THEY SUCCEED."-PROVERBS 15:22


There is no doubt in my mind that one of the key ingredients to building a strong and healthy marriage is seeking Godly Counsel and Great Accountability! If couples face problems alone their foundation will break. God made us need fellowship for the very reason of helping each other through tough times. Those marriages that are more open to recieveing help are those marriage that pull through and grow closer together. God made us to be dependent on others...we are not strong enough to do everything on our own, nor do we have all the answers.Wise people constantly seek wise counsel and gladly receive it but fools never ask and ignore it when its given to them. The Bible states in Proverbs 12:15 that,"The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel."

I believe that when Christian couples go through tough times, it will later on be used to help others. They may not be a licensed psychologist but they have the wisdom of life experience. Couples who have been married one year may face a huge trial that a couple married for 28 years may have never faced but through their trial, they can guide the other couple, pray with them and give them advice. In Gods eyes its not age He cares about...He knows despite age or how many years you have been a believer, that ANYONE is possible of using their story to bring others to Him. That's the great thing about Gods Kingdom, its so diverse. I love the verse in 1 Timothy 4:12," Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young (in age or faith), but set an example for believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." It proves no matter what we are all useful as one of Gods tools!

You and your spouse need to be able to lean on other people. At times its humbling and sometimes embarrassing to admit that you have weaknesses and faults but God asks us to confess. He knows its good for us when we seek Godly counsel! Hebrews 3:13 says,"Encourage one another day after day....so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." Too often, if we isolate ourselves from others and push your Christian friends away it becomes a downward spiral and pretty soon the tearing apart begins. My husband and I are notorious for doing this...we have stepped away from our group of friends and isolated ourselves and pretty soon became blinded by sin. Our mentors are used as reminders as well, they refreshen us daily with Gods word. We need accountability in our lives to push us and motivate us when we are weak. We need to surround ourselves with those who will tell us what need to hear not what we wanna hear. Those are true friends, they are the ones that really love you. It needs to also be on a consistent basis like our Married Couples Group at Church, FUSE, ITS CONSISTENT. Every week we are fed in areas we hunger. We thirst for the fellowship and connecting and its there. We are able to relate with others who maybe experiencing the same trials and we can help eachother through with finding dependency in Christ first.

I cannot tell you how important it is to surround yourselves with the right people. God brings some people and friends in your life for a "season" because of His "reason". Find those who share your same beliefs above all else and they will provide for you the right wisdom. Be careful of the advice you take in. The Worlds advice will tell you opposite of Gods advice. Advice from Oprah or Dr. Phil isn't always going to be the advice given by your Pastor. Guard yourself against the wrong influencers. Ask yourself about the friends you share your deepest problems with. What are they telling you. If problems arise at home, do they tell you to meet up for a drink at the local bar? Do they advise you to leave your spouse and hook up with the hot neighbor? Do these friends send you pornographic emails and tell you obscene jokes? Then these friends will not help strengthen your marriage...they will contribute to bringing it down. Those friends are the ones you should distance from yourself for a time. Don't allow those influencers to come in...satan will use them to fed you decieving things.

If your marriage is hanging by a thread or you are going through struggles with in yourself, pray God will send you Godly mentors. Then seek it...get involved at church, join a married couples study, seek help from a pastor or counselor. I guarantee you it will strengthen you in amazing ways. Reconnecting with Christian couples and relating with them will bring you closer to your spouse. You won't feel alone in your trials. You will begin to see His amazing work as He brings people in your life with common interests! One day you will be needed to help others struggling with the same thing! Iron sharpens Iron and Christians sharpen and strengthen eachother. Rejoice in your struggles today. Be open and honest....seek out a couple whose marriage it what you wish yours would be....ask how they did it and see where the conversation goes....let your guard down to those who love God.

THE DARE: FIND A MARRIAGE MENTOR-SOMEONE WHO IS A STRONG CHRISTIAN AND WHO WILL BE HONEST AND LOVING WITH YOU. IF YOU FEEL THAT COUNSELING IS NEEDED, THEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP TO SET UP AND APPOINTMENT. OPEN UP AND SHARE YOUR STRUGGLES AND FEARS. ALLOW GOD TO RELEASE YOU FROM IT. PRAY AND ASK GOD TO DIRECT YOUR DECISIONS, DISCERNMENTS AND YOUR PATH WITH FRIENDS. TAKE A LOOK AT THE CIRCLE OF FRIENDS...ARE THEY HELPING YOU IN LEADING YOU TOWARDS GODS WAY OR ARE THEY HURTING YOU?

Praying for you today. I'm praying you will seek Godly Counsel in all decisions you and your spouse make. I'm praying you find strong accountability with other Christians and connect on consistent basis. God Bless.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

DAY 34 OF THE LOVE DARE: LOVE CELEBRATES GODLINESS.....

"LOVE DOES NOT REJOICE IN UNRIGHTEOUSNESS, BUT REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH.-1 Corinthians 13:6

LOVE rejoices in the things that are pleasing to God. When your spouse is growing in Christian character, perservering in Faith, seeking purity and embracing roles of giving and service and becoming spiritually responsible in your home, the Bible says we should be celebrating it! However, the world will tell you different! The world tells you to rejoice in Earthly things and will tell you that you don't need God, your Bible or church to grow and from the moment we commit our lives too Christ, invite Him in our marriages, seek him daily through pray and His word, a war will begin! We need to be on our guard, wearing the Armor of God as it says in Ephesians 6 and get ready to defend our spouse and marriages for the rest of our life. As I stated before and cannot tell you enough, the devil hates marriage especially of those who are Believers, he feels threatened by them. (those who are not Christian he leaves alone because he feels they are already on his side). The devils ultimate plan is to seek you, destroy you and cause division!

I may sound like a "bible thumping, Jesus Freak" but I dont care! I am proud to know God and feel privileged that Jesus has saved me. I have lived my life on both sides of the Spiritual Realm. I know whats its like to be oppressed and depressed by the darkness of this World and I also know what its like to have a deep sense of joy and the "burden of this earthly life" to be lifted from my shoulders. I will tell you that I would die for my Faith in Jesus Christ. I know that all the things in this world will one day pass away and I know that when I die I will take nothing with me. The things of this world (money, cars, houses, jobs, etc....)are all meaningless and dont value my life or yours! How you choose to live your life on this earth is what matters, whether your heart has been changed by God and how you lived for Him is what will be accounted for, therefore rejoice with others and celebrate with those who come to Christ!

The accomplishments made in Spiritual Growth with your spouse is what you should be proud of above all else! I speak to myself when I say this but we need to praise our spouses for Godly decisions they make. I will give you an example; My husband after working so hard for over 7 years with the same company, finally got a promotion that was so well deserved!I was so happy for him but he probabley didn't get the response he was hoping for from me (I tend too also have a bad habit of not believing until I see it). But my husbands faith and growth in Christ means far more to me than his promotion. My heart melts when he leads are family in prayer and the times he would read me scriptures. He got asked to lead a table at our Bible Study group at Church and did great....it made him even more attractive in my heart and eyes! Too see his potential in Christ is what makes me wanna brag about him. When he serves God I fall in love all over again and have an immense feeling of connectedness. Its awesome....that's how I know God is real in love of us. I'm proud of his successes but desire to give him a more heartfelt congratulations when he worships and honors God. When leads our family spiritually things are in order and the way God instructed them to be....and I love it!

What are u most proud of in your spouse? Is it their job position, the money they make, how popular and liked they are among people or is their Godliness that you celebrate? None of those other "things" define them in Gods eyes. Its not their accomplishments made on Earth that matter its how they lived their life for God. I'm an imperfect human who gets frustrated when my husband doesn't stay in the Word everyday. I get annoyed that he chooses not to seek Christ in every aspect of his life, but he is human too. It takes time to develop a solid relationship with God for some people (I am one of them) it takes time also to develop knowledge and wisdom and we need to appreciate those baby steps made. Encourage, praise and celebrate who they have become in Christ. Uplift them and you will get better results and continuous growth for God. God works in peoples lives in different ways, don't judge your spouse because they may not seek God as intently as u do.


THE DARE: Decide today to celebrate your spouses Godliness above their earthliness. . Commend them in the steps they have taken and praise them when those "Christian" characterestics appear. Build up and do not tear down. Pray for your spouses growth daily...be proud and passionate. , rejoice in righteousness and truth. pray for ur own growth in God and pray he teaches you to celebrate in the godly moments and pray He shows you what's most important to be proud of in life. Desire Godly accomplishments in your own life as well.

GOD BLESS U. I PRAY UR MARRIAGE BE HELD IN HIS HANDS.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

DAY 33 OF THE LOVE DARE: LOVE COMPLETES EACH OTHER!!

"If two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone."-Ecclesiastes 4:11

I used this verse in another one of the DARES but I think its good we do some refreshing. In our homes God doesn't want us to "COEXIST", he wants unity. He doesn't want us living as peaceable enemies...that's an awful way to live. There is no joy in that...its fake! He doesn't want us to be enemies but to live in peace with one another and with Him. If you think about it God created man and woman to be opposites to help eachother. We are not God nor any superhero, we can't be everything to everyone. We can't be perfect at every sport or have all the different characterestics that make up every human being. First of all that's boring and bizarre! Why would you want clones of you walking around? Don't you get on your own nerves enough as it is? God made our bodies to fit together, he made our "oneness" to produce children. He gave men certain attributes that women don't have and vice versa. Its really amazing and beautiful.

For example, my husband and I have disagreed and been opposites in many areas of our life. But when those ideas or characteristics come together it brings us a healthy balance. I am such an emotional person, I often think and reach out with my heart. I, at times, am so driven and moved by emotion that I can lack in processing reality. My husband lacks emotion....he doesn't reach out with his heart very often. He processes things first before acting out sometimes. He is able to be discerning when necessary. He keeps me level headed, while I bring him understanding of compassion. We balance each other out. God knew that when He brought us together, He knew that I needed Roosevelt and he needed me. We are just like a puzzle...God puts those pieces in our life where He knows they will fit. My husband, thank God for his muscular arms, is much stronger than me in so many ways. Physically, I need his strength at home. I am weaker when it comes to lifting and moving things. He completes me in that aspect. When it comes to "parenting", both of us come from very different backgrounds, and were raised completely different. He was all about discipline and I was all about love. But children need a healthy balance of both. "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is no one to lift him up." (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). I love this verse because it paints the picture of completeness. In my time of panic, anxiety, and depression my husband was there to lift me up. He didn't know how to handle it but he was my strength when I was weak. I needed him to help. I fell and fell hard, I couldn't be the mom I needed to be and wasn't able to manage certain simple tasks. But just having him there lifted my spirit.

God uses our differences for His glory. We aren't always going to be in agreeance with everything. Often times we are on opposite sides of the spectrum....but we need to meet in the middle. God wants us to have balance in all areas of our life. God wants us to meet Him in the middle. He knows what's best for us. He can see the big picture. Stop believing that in your life and marriage things are always going to be perfect. Its those differences that will bring us closer to each other. Its those differences that bring us closer to God. In those times where you don't see eye to eye..stop and look at the big picture. God put you together for a reason and they are the missing piece in your puzzle....his strengths make up for your weaknesses. Her compassion and gentleness makes up for your sterness and stubborness. You complete each other. You fit together and can stay together through differences and all! God is your glue people! You, your marriage, your children and family are all His design! He loves your uniqueness. He made you and your spouse a team to build eachother up and encourage one another. He made you to literally lay next to that person and keep warm. He brought you that person to carry you in times where you just can't go any further. You are joined together, you are greater than your independent parts. You need eachother.

THE DARE: TODAY HUMBLE YOUR HEARTS AND CHOOSE TO LOOK AT YOUR DIFFERENCES IN ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE. IF YOU HAVE MAJOR DECISIONS TO MAKE FINANCIALLY, JOB WISE, PARENTING ETC....LISTEN TO YOUR SPOUSE. STOP THINKING YOUR WAY IS ALWAYS THE RIGHT WAY. LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU DESIRE THEIR COUNSEL. IF YOU HAVE IGNORED THEIR INPUT IN THE PAST, ADMIT IT AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS. CHOOSE TO WORK THROUGH YOUR DIFFERENCES. REALIZE THEY ARE THE MISSING PIECE TO YOUR PUZZLE...THAT THEY DO COMPLETE YOU AND GOD MADE YOU A PERFECT FIT. YOU BALANCE EACH OTHER OUT IN YOUR OPPOSITIONS.

God Bless you today. I am praying that you will embrace your spouses uniqueness. I hope god will take the blinders from your eyes and you will see your spouse completes you. Look at your diiferences as positives. I'm praying you find balance in all things. Xoxoxo!

Monday, November 8, 2010

DAY 32 OF THE DARE: LOVE MEETS SEXUAL NEEDS

"The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife and likewise also the wife to her husband."-1 Corinthians 7:3


This may be a sensitive subject for some of you and for others maybe more powerful and exciting. The world today desensitizes "sex" from the purpose that God created it to be. The Bible often states verses about not having even a hint of sexual immorality among you . It seems to have more restricitions and rules about sex then it says anything good about it. For a long time I viewed sex as being a disgusting and horrible thing but that is because I believe I wasn't living my life for God at that time. God gives us His Word to follow for our own good. It is our Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth....if we just listened and followed those guidelines things would go so much smoother! Sex is one those issues that we should follow....it will either bless you if done Gods way or it will mess you up (out of Gods will). He instructed sex to be between one man and one woman when they are married. Anything beyond that or outside of the realm He will not bless. I believe because I chose to step out His will before marriage that it gave me a distorted view of sex. When I got married I still disliked it, never resisted, but struggled with feeling the beauty and intimacy of the purpose.

Song of Solomon in the Bible is such a beautiful love story. in this Book it states the beauty of intimacy in detail. It mentions sex between the married lovers and how close it brought them,its beautiful and it glorifies God. Sex in a marriage is huge! The Bible warns us in 1 Corinthians 7:5 to, "stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of you lack of control." I cannot express the depth of importance in this matter. If you deprive one another sexually it opens a huge door for the one being deprived to seek gratification elsewhere. Its unfair to that person. There are many factors that make up a marriage, but just having a friendship will not make your marriage last. Its beyond that....we are human and we desire intimacy just as God desires intimacy with us. It gets down deep inside you, its the passion. You might say, "...well, my spouse is a Godly person, they will never seek gratification elsewhere..." my response to you is, "Never say Never" its written in scriptures and the devil knows where we lack self control, he know our every weakness and yes our sexual weaknesses is what He will prey on most in marriages. When you deprive your spouse he sees that open door and jumps right in. Remember his ultimate purpose is to DIVIDE your marriage! He wants to seperate the unity and split that oneness. Never give an open door to the devil, Hebrews 13:4 states, "the marriage bed is to be undefiled," so don't give ur spouse any reason to seek it elsewhere. Sex is not to be a bargaining chip, its not something we withhold as a consequence either. Its wrong to "punish" our spouses in this way.

Now that I didn't beat around the bush and let you have it, I will give you a note of compassion. I know for some of us women this topic is such a struggle. Some of us have been used and abused in a sexual way in our past. Its something that you may always struggle with remembering and are constantly reminded of during the wrong times. For some of you your sex life with your spouse was always taking and never giving. For some of us its an image issue and not being comfortable or feeling sexy in your own skin. For some women we feel we can never live up to the standards and pressures this "world" places on us with the constant reminding on billboards passing by on the freeway, covers of magazines in the stores, porn on the internet and of course those annoying Carls Jr. Commercials or the rest of TV. For us women who are in bondage with insecurity and broken with the burden of self hate, sex with our spouse can be painful. It literally takes self-sacrafice and sometimes its so hard to be in the moment when all you can do is think about if your pleasing to his eyes. But women, you are beautiful. You may have been damaged in the past. You may be haunted by todays topic because of painful memories but God can bring you restoration. He can heal you. the devil loves to feed thoughts of insecurity and fear in your mind. The devil doesn't want you to enjoy the love God designed between you and your husband. Pray daily that God would heal those hurts and bring restoration so you can be intimate with your husband the way He created it to be. Its not easy but I promise can be done! And if you choose to sacrafice yourself God will bless your marriage bed.

Husbands, with all the distraction in our world today and all the "competition" we have all around us, pray today that you will see your wife in the way God sees her. Pray you would only have eyes for her and God will give you the strength to resist any temptation in this world today. If you struggle with finding gratification in anyone or anything else...walk away...flee...throw it out. Do not defile your marriage bed and do not defile and distort your wife's view of sex. If you struggle with showing passion and love and all you want is just sex, it will turn your spouse away. You need to have balance. Find that happy meeting place and choose to be giving. You cannot deprive her of her needs either. Women are more like an oven while you men or more like a microwave....we take awhile to get turned on sometimes....so start with some affection, a back rub etc. We need emotional connection before we just decide to jump your bones ok! Lol, sorry for the language....

So after today COMMUNICATE, talk about your sexual expectations and needs. I think it's a topic most of us are embarrassed to bring up. But its important you communicate certain details and communicate about the problems and insecurities. Literally start praying God would bring you the intimacy He created in your marriage. Pray together and apart about it.

THE DARE: I DARE YOU TO INITIATE SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE TODAY. DESIRE TO FULFILL HIS/HER NEEDS...NOT YOUR OWN. MAKE A SACRAFICE TODAY. START PRAYING GOD WILL WORK OUT THE KINKS AND HE WILL REKINDLE ROMANCE , PASSION AND INTIMACY. HONOR YOUR SPOUSE TODAY.

Praying you experience the beauty of Gods initmacy. God bless

Sunday, November 7, 2010

DAY 31 OF THE LOVE DARE: LOVE AND MARRIAGE!

"A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER, AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE; AND THEY SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH."-Genesis 2:24


LOL! Todays title made me laugh...starting today off with some humor could be good....?! So, remember the show 'MARRIED WITH CHILDREN'? The title reminded me of the theme song...now its stuck in my head...so now I'm gonna make it 'stick' in your head! Lol, ready, here it goes (sing with me):

"Love and Marriage, love and marriage,
Go together like a horse and carriage.
This I'll tell you brother, you can't have one without the other....
Love and Marriage! (Etc.)"

You get the idea...lol...is it stuck yet?

Anyway, that was just a little side note but with all seriousness, that annoying song is true, you will see how it ties in. Yesterday we talked about unity and becoming one flesh in marriage. Today, we are discussing somethings that may hinder that oneness and what we should do to gain it back.we will start with our key verse and what it states in the book.

How many of you just love and adore your parents and in-laws!? How many of you feel that you or your spouse are "trapped" by the parents? Are there any issues in your marriage where the 'cord' has not been cut (literally) and you feel like your marriage consists of you, your spouse and your parents? Ok....well its time too the umblilcal cord and turn them loose (in a loving way of course). We all love our parents but when it comes to our married life they need to be kept at a healthy distance. Genesis 2:24 states that when a man marries, he shall LEAVE his father and mother and CLEAVE to his wife so they can be one flesh. LEAVE means to actually break that natural tie. Our parents can remain our 'counselors' but cannot tell us what to do. Some parents sturggle with turning loose but the decision needs to be the grown childs courageous choice. (Do it in the right way). Often times, we allow our parents to make decisions for us or we till them too much information about our spouse and it creates problems and division in the home. The PARENTS should never come between a marriage and you should not allow them too! Your spouse comes before your parents...never make your spouse feel like a second class citizen. You are one now. Decision making should be done as one. You need to achieve oneness in all priorties and oneness in sexual affections. Saying NO to division will allow you to achieve oneness in these goals.

My other concern would be any other kind of relationship that comes before your spouse (friendships, work relationships, other family members etc.) Be careful that no division is caused by anyone. When you choose to CLEAVE to your spouse you grab hold of them, placing them next to you and not letting go. Friendships should never come before your spouse. Especially if those friends are toxic. Be careful who u surround yourself with. These toxic friendships will cause divison but most likely in a way that you are blinded too.


THE DARE:
Today analyze your relationships...are there any that are causing division? Do u need to cut ties or release the hold on nature of the relationship? Analyze your relationship with your spouse...are they at the top of your list in priorties? Are you "one" with them? DARE TO WALK IN ONENESS TODAY. Confess with your spouse any "leaving" issue, apologize, and make it right.

PRAYING FOR YOU AND YOUR MARRIAGES TODAY. MAY GOD BLESS YOUR MARRIAGE AS YOU DESIRE TO BE ONE WITH YOUR SPOUSE. I'M PRAYING YOU SEEK TO BE ONE WITH GOD AND THAT YOU LOOK AT YOUR PRIORITY LIST AND SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO TO IMPROVE IT. GOD ALWAYS BLESS YOU!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

DAY 30 OF THE LOVE DARE: LOVE BRINGS UNITY

"FATHER, KEEP THEM IN YOUR NAME, THE NAME WHICH YOU HAVE GIVEN ME, THAT THEY MAY BE AS ONE EVEN AS WE ARE."-John 17:11


Gods Word is so amazing! When reading the Bible and seeking Him you realize that everything makes sense and links together. After reading todays DARE I became just baffled at His timing. Today I married a couple for the first time. My whole message to this couple was when you marry you become one! There is to be no division in unity. God is to be first in this trinity of love. He is to be the glue that holds us together! This morning I read about Gods Trinity, The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit are 3-in-1. They are all connected in unity to be one. Without any one of these important Figures, the Trinity wouldn't exist!

In our trinity of marriage we all need to be binded together for eternity. Without one it won't work. God needs to be included in your marriage and in your individual life. He gaves us the example of a marriage in His love for us. Throughout the Bible He speaks of the 'Church" (us) as being His bride. (The Church is most honored when her Savior is worshipped and celebrated. ) Christ is our bridegroom (Jesus), who has given Himself up for us, and is most honored when He sees us (the church) "as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any blemish, but holy and blameless"(Ephesians 5:27) Both Christ and the Church love and honor each other. (Like we should with our spouse). That is the beauty of unity. We share all we are and all we have with that person.

HUSBANDS, what would happen in your marriage if you devoted yourself to loving, honoring, and serving your wife in all things? What would happen if you really took into consideration what 'oneness' means with your spouse, would you do everything in your power to guard your marriage from any form of division? What would happen if you chose to pray about keeping your unity with your spouse sacred? Could you and would you do this?

WIVES, what would happen if you chose to promote togetherness of heart with your husband? Us being the one moved by emotion, would you choose to pray that you be united as one in "heart" and in "love"? Would you choose as well to pray for protection and unity and pray that you allow nothing to tear you apart? What would happen if you chose to do this daily....could you or would you?

The unity of the Trinity is evidence in the power of oneness. Its unbreakable and its unending. Make your marriage and oneness unbreakable. Don't take God out of it....that is the begining of breaking and division. Choose to hold on to God tight...never letting go. Don't open up the trinity of your marriage. Where your armor, stand up and fight and defend it daily. Never under estimate the power of prayer. Be praying for your marriage, spouse and family daily! . Everyday serve your spouse, whose needs cannot be seperated from your own. Honor them, love them unconditionally, forgive them...let no crack give way and crumble your foundation.

THE DARE: CHOOSE UNITY. PRAY FOR ANY AREA OF DIVISION IN YOUR MARRIAGE...ASK GOD TO REVEAL ANYTHING YOUR HEART THAT THREATENS ONENESS WITH YOUR SPOUSE OR WITH GOD AND PRAY HE REVEALS THE SAME FOR THEM. IF APPROPRIATE, DISCUSS IT OPENLY, SEEKING GOD FOR UNITY ONCE AGAIN. REMEMBER TO SPEAK WITH LOVE, GENTLENESS AND KINDNESS.

I'm praying for unity in your marriage! I'm praying you choose to stand up, fight and protect your oneness! God bless you and your lives. Amen!

Friday, November 5, 2010

DAY 29 OF THE LOVE DARE: LOVE'S MOTIVATION

"Render service with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men."-Ephesians 6:7


What motivates you? What gets you up to go to work, what is it that sparks that deisre to clean your house? Is it just routine, because you have too and you have just come to the conclusion that your life is nothing but repitition? Do you feel like the movie, 'Gound Hog Day' is your life story? Well....not today! I'm going to give you another perspectitive on motivation, not just in life but also in love!

Everything we do in our lives, we should do for God. It not just an attitude change but a heart change. In our jobs, we should work as if we were working for the Lord. If God was your actual boss would you be lazy? Would you cut corners to get stuff done or would you give it all your strength and might to work with integrity? If Jesus was sitting on your couch as you cleaned the house would you sweep all toys under the bed, throw your shoes in the closet or let laundry pile up next to Him (my laundry is piled on my couch waiting to be put away). I guarantee your butt would be off the couch making your home presentable and doing your wifely duties with perfectionism! We don't realize that God is always watching us and everything we do we should in honoring Him. He needs to be our motivation to go to work, to take care of the those duties and He needs to be our motivation in loving our spouse!

Love your spouse for God. God gave you that person you chose to make a convenant with and they are a gift! However they are human and may suck sometimes like the rest of us...but they are a priceless gift! The motivation to love your spouse, needs to be God. Forgive them because of God, serve them like you would serve God. They can be very hard to like and even love at times but as I said before...love comes from God...He can keep teaching you everyday. If you love God you will serve Him in all areas of your life. Whether your boss is a jerk or not, it doesn't matter anymore, God is your Boss. Work like you never worked before....and God will bless and reward you. If your wife is in PMS mode....it doesn't matter....love her for God. God is the key Motivator. Live your life to please Him! It will change the way you see everything. Choose to be the parent you need to be because of God. Stop dragging through life, hating your job, your spouse and your marriage and choose to let your love for God motivate you to enjoy life!

THE DARE: BEFORE YOU SEE YOUR SPOUSE AGAIN TODAY, PRAY FOR THEM BY NAME AND FOR THEIR NEEDS. WHETHER IT COMES EASY FOR YOU OR NOT, SAY 'i love u' THEN EXPRESS LOVE TO THEM IN SOME TANGIBLE WAY. GO TO GOD IN PRAYER AGAIN, THANKING HIM FOR GIVING YOU THE PRIVILEGE OF LOVING THIS SPECIAL PERSON UNCONDITIONALLY...THE WAY HE LOVES BOTH OF YOU. DON'T JUST DO THIS FOR YOU...OR THEM....DO IT FOR GOD.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

DAY 28: LOVE MAKES SACRAFICES!!

"He laid down His life for us. We should also lay dpwn our lives for our brothers."- 1 John 3:16


Your either gonna love today or your gonna hate it. Why? Because it will be humbling and take time, effort and energy! Do you honestly realize the sacrafice Jesus made for you? Do you realize that no sacrafice can be done without love or compassion? No sacrafice should ever be done in a half-hearted way. It means nothing to the person on the receiving end. When you choose to make a sarafice that isn't done with your whole heart then it appears to be more of a burden. A 'sacrafice' is also done with a loving attitude....you don't want to defeat the purpose or question the motive.

So today, we will be discussing saraficing ourselves for our spouses. Sacraficing our needs to meet the needs of our husband or wife. First it literally takes,'laying down your life' (putting away all selfishness). The evidence of love is found in meeting the needs of others, then doing all we can to satisfy it. "For I was HUNGRY, and you gave Me something to eat; I was THIRSTY and you gave Me something to drink; I was a STRANGER and you invited Me in; NAKED and you clothed Me; I was SICK and you visited Me; I was in PRISON and you came to Me."- (Matthew 25:35-36)

Allow me to put this key verse into another perspective....these are the needs we should be meeting in our spouse. Today, ask yourselves these questions when it comes to laying down your life, do you honestly seek to meet any of these needs....?

1) IS HE "HUNGRY"- needing you sexually, even when you don't feel like it?
2) IS SHE "THIRSTY"- craving the time and attention you seem able to give to everyone else?
3) DOES HE FEEL LIKE A 'STRANGER'- insecure in his work, need home to be a refuge and sanctuary?
4) IS SHE 'NAKED'- frightened or ashamed, desperate for the warm covering of love and affirmation?
5) IS HE FEELING 'SICK'- physically tired and needing you to help guard him from interruptions?
6) DOES SHE FEEL IN 'PRISON'-fearful and depressed needing safety and intervention?

THE DARE: WHAT IS ONE OF THE GREATEST NEEDS IN YOUR SPOUSES LIFE RIGHT NOW? IS THEIR A NEED YOU CAN LIFT FROM THEIR SHOULDERS TODAY BY A DARING ACT OF SACRAFICE ON YOUR PART? WHETHER THE NEED BE SMALL OR BIG, DECIDE TO MEET THAT NEED IN LOVE.

I'm praying for all of you today and praying you will remember the sacrafice made for you on the cross. Remember how much Jesus loved you, despite your faults! God bless you....choose to start meeting those needs....don't leave your Spouse with any void.....

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

DAY 27 OF THE LOVE DARE: LOVE ENCOURAGES

"Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in YOU."-Psalm 25:20


Marriage has a way of altering our visions. We tend to EXPECT things are going to be perfect and our spouse will fulfill all our hopes, desires and dreams. This couldn't be more unrealistic! Instead of living with EXPECTATIONS we must live by ENCOURAGEMENT! Unrealistic expectations only create disspointment and resentments. The higher the expectation you place on them the more likely your spouse will fail and cause you frustration.

We need to find a happy balance. I suffer from the "HIGH EXPECTATION SYNDROME" and let me tell you....I'm often frustrated! This is a pain in the butt challenge today but true and something I need to work on! I put a lot of expectations on my husband. There are some things I just refuse to give in to. I expect after my husband being a Chrisitan for 5 years that he will be the Spiritual Leader of this home. I expect him to live a godly life and to be an example to Everyone around him. I expect him to pick up his bible and read daily (knowing he struggles with reading). I expect him to pray with me and the children daily. I expect him to be passionate about God and desire to talk about what God has done in his life daily! But....all of this is unrealistic! Not saying it can't or hasn't been done. But my expectations are so high and guess what !? I get frustrated and disappointed. I know He is capable of being the Spiritual Leader of our home but God is going to mold my husband on His timing not mine! We are two different people...just because I desire to read and pray and feed myself daily doesn't mean he does...he should, but that will come when he is ready. It doesn't make me a better person and doesn't devalue him. I need to be patient and Encourage my hubby instead. Giving high encouragment gets much better results than high expectations. If my hearts desire is for my husband to be all these things then I first need to pray for him and second need to be his encourager. Instead of me forcing the issue or being pushy I need to let go and trust that God will keep molding him into His masterpiece not mine.

Ladies or Gents.....being a Critical person will always bring negativity and do the opposite of helping that person. If you really want your spouse to change or take intiative to do something then love on them and encourage them on the things they do right. It will bring them motivation to keep trying harder. I know I need to work on being an Encourager in my marriage. It is especially important if your spouses love language is Words of Affirmation. Loving words is how they need to feel loved. This helps them grow as a person. Feeding them criticism and negativity will do more damage.

Remember our Spouses are human. I'm not saying to settle but be realistic in love.


THE DARE: CHOOSE TODAY TO BE AND ENCOURAGER. LOOK AT YOUR EXPECTATION AND REALLY SEE IF THEY ARE REALISTIC.

PRAYING FOR YOU AND A HUMBLE SPIRIT. PRAYING YOU WILL BE AN ENCOURAGER. GOD BLESS.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

DAY 26: LOVE IS RESPONSIBLE! TODAY IS A HUMBLING CHALLENGE.....CAN U LET YOUR PRIDE FALL DOWN?

"When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge do the same things"- Romans 2:1



How often do we constantly point the finger at other people? Could you or would you admit it? I admit I have pointed the finger at other peoples faults (not just my husbands) and God always seems to put me back in my place. Everyone has been guilty at judging someone. Whether it be your spouse for making a bad decision, you neighbors for yelling at their kids, or your friends for getting in over their heads in debt, we are all capable of looking down on others. Like I said yesterday we don't always understand other peoples motives and don't understand why they make the choices they do. Its not our job to be their judge. But it is our responsibility to love them and ask for forgiveness when offending them.

Love is responsible and is willing to admit and correct it faults and errors up front. Yesterday we worked on trying to forgive those who have hurt us. We chose to find freedom in forgiveness. Today its our turn to let our pride fall down and ask forgiveness in our faults. Its important we make our relationships right, our relationship with our spouses, children (yes ask for forgiveness when you are wrong in parental decisions, this gives them a great example) but even more important, is making things right with God. God loves a humble spirit. In order to walk with God and keep His favor we must stay clean before Him. That doesn't mean you never stumble but that you confess it to God and ask for forgiveness when you do. Part of taking responsibility in love is admitting you failed. Its time to humble yourself, correct your offenses and repair the damage. Its an act of love when you do it. But it also needs to be sincere.

THE DARE: ASK GOD TO SHOW YOU WHERE YOU HAVE FAILED IN YOUR RESPONSIBILITY THEN GET RIGHT WITH HIM FIRST. ONCE YOU HAVE DONE THAT, DO IT WITH YOUR SPOUSE AND MAKE THINGS RIGHT WITH THEM. PRAY THROUGH YOUR AREAS OF WRONGDOING WITH ANYONE. WHERE YOU FEEL CONVICTION IS WHEN YOU SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE IN LOVE WITH TRUTHFULNESS AND SINCERITY. TODAY CHOOSE TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT AND REPAIR RELATIONSHIPS. EVEN IF THEY RESPOND WITH CRITICISM ACCEPT IT BY RECEIVING IT AS COUNSEL. KNOW THAT BY ABIDING IN CHRIST HE WILL BLESS YOU

PRAYING FOR HUMILITY AND RESPONBILITY IN LOVE FOR ALL OF US. GOD BLESS YOU TODAY AND BLESS YOU IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM, YOUR SPOUSE AND OTHERS!

Monday, November 1, 2010

DAY 25 of the LOVE DARE: LOVE FORGIVES! (ouch!...yes i said it, no more grudges....FORGIVENESS!)

"WHAT I HAVE FORGIVEN, IF I HAVE FORGIVEN ANYTHING, I DID IT FOR YOUR SAKES IN THE PRESENCE OF CHRIST."- 2 CORINTHIANS 2:10


I honestly believe this is going to be one of the toughest dares. But if there is to be any hope in your marriages or any relationships for that matter, its important you let go of your grudges or anger or hatred towards your spouse (or that person you struggle forgiving.) Counselors and ministers who deal with broken couples on a regular basis will tell you that this is the most complex problem of all. Its a rupture that is often last to be repaired. But I believe it needs to be the first. In order to move past any problem in marriage we need to fully let go of any baggage that is left blocking that path. In order for proper healing to occur all those wounds need nursing. Often times to move forward we need to wipe the slate clean and start over. Much like what Christ has done for you. When we ask Christ into our hearts, we are reborn. He wipes our past away not just by forgiving but by forgetting. The world will tell you to hold on to the hurt, betrayals and stupid mistakes. The world will say too never forget so you can put up your walls and never let your vulnerabilties show. The world will tell you this so you never get hurt again.

But, this is the opposite of what God wants. Holding onto grudges holds us hostage. But forgiveness gives us freedom! Trust me, I know this isn't easy. I have struggled with forgiveness of my spouse and forgiveness for the abandonment of my biological mother. I spent most of my marriage struggling with forgiveness and keep record of my husbands wrongs. But it eats at your insides. Holding onto grudges holds your spirit hostage. It keeps you in a prison feeling isolated, depressed and alone. It turns your soul ugly. If you aren't careful you will become desensitized to the beauty of life that God has to offer. You will miss out on the blessings God has for you.

Jesus says in Luke 6:37,"Do not judge, and you will not judge be judged. Do not condemn and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give and it will be given to you..."
I know we as imperfect human beings are incapable of forgiving on our own. We need the Holy Spirit to live in us...."With Man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." (Mark 10:27)

I will tell you though, I know its possible. Not many of you know the extent of my husband and I's testimony and one day maybe I will share it at God's appointed time but we hurt each other deeply. Before my husband came to know God he was a different person. A lot of what happened in our past God has turned around for His glory. But it took me years to completely let go of the trauma and pain. It tortured my spirit and mind for years. It made me ugly and numb. And made me incapable of truly experiencing Gods Love. The day I chose to pray and ask God too take away the unforgiveness and pain is the day I came to know freedom. The burden was truly lifted and replaced with compassion. Instead of hating him I felt love for him. I saw my husband through Gods eyes. I saw his heart through Gods eyes. I realized he needed love just as much as I did. You never really know why people are the way they are. You don't know what makes them hurt. You don't know why sometimes they do things to hurt you. I'm sure its for a reason.

THE DARE: CHOOSE TODAY TOO LOOK AT YOUR SPOUSE (OR SOMEONE YOU STRUGGLE TO FORGIVE) THROUGH GODS EYES. TAKE IN ACCOUNT ANY LIFE TRAUMA THEY MAY HAVE EXPERIENCED. INSTEAD OF LOOKING AT THE SITUATION OR WAYS THEY HURT YOU, LOOK INSIDE THEIR HEART. ASK GOD TO HELP YOU FORGIVE AND FORGET. DON'T BE HELD HOSTAGE BY HURT. CHOOSE FREEDOM THROUGH FORGIVENESS. WIPE THE SLATE CLEAN AND BE RENEWED. START FRESH TODAY. LET THE LOVE OF CHRIST LIVE INSIDE YOU. I KNOW ITS POSSIBLE.

Praying for your hearts to be softened. Praying you will see those who hurt you through God eyes.remember God can not forive you if you do not forive others.