"The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife and likewise also the wife to her husband."-1 Corinthians 7:3
This may be a sensitive subject for some of you and for others maybe more powerful and exciting. The world today desensitizes "sex" from the purpose that God created it to be. The Bible often states verses about not having even a hint of sexual immorality among you . It seems to have more restricitions and rules about sex then it says anything good about it. For a long time I viewed sex as being a disgusting and horrible thing but that is because I believe I wasn't living my life for God at that time. God gives us His Word to follow for our own good. It is our Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth....if we just listened and followed those guidelines things would go so much smoother! Sex is one those issues that we should follow....it will either bless you if done Gods way or it will mess you up (out of Gods will). He instructed sex to be between one man and one woman when they are married. Anything beyond that or outside of the realm He will not bless. I believe because I chose to step out His will before marriage that it gave me a distorted view of sex. When I got married I still disliked it, never resisted, but struggled with feeling the beauty and intimacy of the purpose.
Song of Solomon in the Bible is such a beautiful love story. in this Book it states the beauty of intimacy in detail. It mentions sex between the married lovers and how close it brought them,its beautiful and it glorifies God. Sex in a marriage is huge! The Bible warns us in 1 Corinthians 7:5 to, "stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of you lack of control." I cannot express the depth of importance in this matter. If you deprive one another sexually it opens a huge door for the one being deprived to seek gratification elsewhere. Its unfair to that person. There are many factors that make up a marriage, but just having a friendship will not make your marriage last. Its beyond that....we are human and we desire intimacy just as God desires intimacy with us. It gets down deep inside you, its the passion. You might say, "...well, my spouse is a Godly person, they will never seek gratification elsewhere..." my response to you is, "Never say Never" its written in scriptures and the devil knows where we lack self control, he know our every weakness and yes our sexual weaknesses is what He will prey on most in marriages. When you deprive your spouse he sees that open door and jumps right in. Remember his ultimate purpose is to DIVIDE your marriage! He wants to seperate the unity and split that oneness. Never give an open door to the devil, Hebrews 13:4 states, "the marriage bed is to be undefiled," so don't give ur spouse any reason to seek it elsewhere. Sex is not to be a bargaining chip, its not something we withhold as a consequence either. Its wrong to "punish" our spouses in this way.
Now that I didn't beat around the bush and let you have it, I will give you a note of compassion. I know for some of us women this topic is such a struggle. Some of us have been used and abused in a sexual way in our past. Its something that you may always struggle with remembering and are constantly reminded of during the wrong times. For some of you your sex life with your spouse was always taking and never giving. For some of us its an image issue and not being comfortable or feeling sexy in your own skin. For some women we feel we can never live up to the standards and pressures this "world" places on us with the constant reminding on billboards passing by on the freeway, covers of magazines in the stores, porn on the internet and of course those annoying Carls Jr. Commercials or the rest of TV. For us women who are in bondage with insecurity and broken with the burden of self hate, sex with our spouse can be painful. It literally takes self-sacrafice and sometimes its so hard to be in the moment when all you can do is think about if your pleasing to his eyes. But women, you are beautiful. You may have been damaged in the past. You may be haunted by todays topic because of painful memories but God can bring you restoration. He can heal you. the devil loves to feed thoughts of insecurity and fear in your mind. The devil doesn't want you to enjoy the love God designed between you and your husband. Pray daily that God would heal those hurts and bring restoration so you can be intimate with your husband the way He created it to be. Its not easy but I promise can be done! And if you choose to sacrafice yourself God will bless your marriage bed.
Husbands, with all the distraction in our world today and all the "competition" we have all around us, pray today that you will see your wife in the way God sees her. Pray you would only have eyes for her and God will give you the strength to resist any temptation in this world today. If you struggle with finding gratification in anyone or anything else...walk away...flee...throw it out. Do not defile your marriage bed and do not defile and distort your wife's view of sex. If you struggle with showing passion and love and all you want is just sex, it will turn your spouse away. You need to have balance. Find that happy meeting place and choose to be giving. You cannot deprive her of her needs either. Women are more like an oven while you men or more like a microwave....we take awhile to get turned on sometimes....so start with some affection, a back rub etc. We need emotional connection before we just decide to jump your bones ok! Lol, sorry for the language....
So after today COMMUNICATE, talk about your sexual expectations and needs. I think it's a topic most of us are embarrassed to bring up. But its important you communicate certain details and communicate about the problems and insecurities. Literally start praying God would bring you the intimacy He created in your marriage. Pray together and apart about it.
THE DARE: I DARE YOU TO INITIATE SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE TODAY. DESIRE TO FULFILL HIS/HER NEEDS...NOT YOUR OWN. MAKE A SACRAFICE TODAY. START PRAYING GOD WILL WORK OUT THE KINKS AND HE WILL REKINDLE ROMANCE , PASSION AND INTIMACY. HONOR YOUR SPOUSE TODAY.
Praying you experience the beauty of Gods initmacy. God bless
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