"Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in YOU."-Psalm 25:20
Marriage has a way of altering our visions. We tend to EXPECT things are going to be perfect and our spouse will fulfill all our hopes, desires and dreams. This couldn't be more unrealistic! Instead of living with EXPECTATIONS we must live by ENCOURAGEMENT! Unrealistic expectations only create disspointment and resentments. The higher the expectation you place on them the more likely your spouse will fail and cause you frustration.
We need to find a happy balance. I suffer from the "HIGH EXPECTATION SYNDROME" and let me tell you....I'm often frustrated! This is a pain in the butt challenge today but true and something I need to work on! I put a lot of expectations on my husband. There are some things I just refuse to give in to. I expect after my husband being a Chrisitan for 5 years that he will be the Spiritual Leader of this home. I expect him to live a godly life and to be an example to Everyone around him. I expect him to pick up his bible and read daily (knowing he struggles with reading). I expect him to pray with me and the children daily. I expect him to be passionate about God and desire to talk about what God has done in his life daily! But....all of this is unrealistic! Not saying it can't or hasn't been done. But my expectations are so high and guess what !? I get frustrated and disappointed. I know He is capable of being the Spiritual Leader of our home but God is going to mold my husband on His timing not mine! We are two different people...just because I desire to read and pray and feed myself daily doesn't mean he does...he should, but that will come when he is ready. It doesn't make me a better person and doesn't devalue him. I need to be patient and Encourage my hubby instead. Giving high encouragment gets much better results than high expectations. If my hearts desire is for my husband to be all these things then I first need to pray for him and second need to be his encourager. Instead of me forcing the issue or being pushy I need to let go and trust that God will keep molding him into His masterpiece not mine.
Ladies or Gents.....being a Critical person will always bring negativity and do the opposite of helping that person. If you really want your spouse to change or take intiative to do something then love on them and encourage them on the things they do right. It will bring them motivation to keep trying harder. I know I need to work on being an Encourager in my marriage. It is especially important if your spouses love language is Words of Affirmation. Loving words is how they need to feel loved. This helps them grow as a person. Feeding them criticism and negativity will do more damage.
Remember our Spouses are human. I'm not saying to settle but be realistic in love.
THE DARE: CHOOSE TODAY TO BE AND ENCOURAGER. LOOK AT YOUR EXPECTATION AND REALLY SEE IF THEY ARE REALISTIC.
PRAYING FOR YOU AND A HUMBLE SPIRIT. PRAYING YOU WILL BE AN ENCOURAGER. GOD BLESS.
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