DAY 24 OF THE LOVE DARE: LOVE VS. LUST

"THE WORLD IS PASSING AWAY AND ALSO ITS LUSTS; BUT THE ONE WHO DOES THE WILL OF GOD LIVES FOREVER."-1 John 2:17


"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in Him." (1 John 2:15)

The progression of lust goes from eyes to heart to action. Then follow shame and regret.. God has provided us with everything we need for a full, productive, and enriching life. But we are often not content with what we have. We never seem to be satisified and are continually wanting more. Instead of keeping our eyes on Christ we start setting our eyes and hearts on seeking worldly pleasures. We try and meet legitimate needs in illegitimate ways. For many, its seeking sexual fulfillment in another person or in pornographic images designed to feel like a real person. We look, stare, and fantasize. We try and be discreet but barely turn our eyes away. And once our eyes are captured by curiousity, our hearts become entangled. Then we act on our lust.

We can also lust after possessions or power or prideful ambition. We see what others have and we want it. Our hearts are decieved into saying that we would only be happy if we had certain things. Then once again we act out on our lust and choose to go after it. "Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction." (1 Timothy 6:9)

Lust is the opposite of love. It means to set your heart and passions on what is forbidden. For a believer its the first step out of fellowship with God and with others. When you step into lust you step out of your marriage. This creates a wall of disconnect. This is because whatever the object of lust is (the co-worker, attractive movie star, a bigger better house, or sports car) is the beginning of a lie. Lust always breeds more lust. Lust will make you dissatisfied with your husband or wife. It breeds anger, numb hearts, and destroys marriages. Rather than fullness it leads to emptiness. Its a misguided thirst for satisfaction that only God can fulfill. When your eyes and heart are on Him, your actions will lead you to lasting joy, not to endless cycles of regret and condemnation.

If your tired of being lied to by lust and desire to be filled with joy and contentment then begin with setting your eyes on the Word of God. Let His promises of peace and freedom fill your heart. Focus on being grateful for everything God has given you already. Choose to also set your eyes on your spouse again. We need to find satisfaction with the partner God gave us. Choose to turn your eyes away from the things you know are forbidden. Don't buy into the lies of lust any longer. Say NO TO LUST. Do what is right in the eyes of God and you will be BLESSED. FLEE FROM TEMPTATION. YOU MUST GET RID OF THOSE THINGS THAT BRING YOU FALSE FULFILLMENT. DON'T ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE PUT IN SITUATIONS WHERE YOU LACK SELF CONTROL.

THE DARE: END IT NOW. PUT A STOP TO ANY LUST IN YOUR LIFE. IDENTIFY every object of lust in your life and remove it. SINGLE OUT EVERY LIE YOU HAVE SWALLOWED IN PURSUING FORBIDDEN PLEASURE AND REJECT IT. LUST CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO LIVE IN YOUR HEART. IT MUST BE KILLED AND DESTROYED TODAY AND REPLACED WITH GODS PROMISES AND YOUR NEEDS TO BE FILLED WITH GOD LOVE.

PRAYING FOR YOU TODAY. PRAYING GOD WILL BRING US SELF CONTROL IN THE AREAS WHERE WE ARE WEAK AND LACK IT. DON'T LET LUST DESTROY YOU AND SEPERATE YOU FROM YOUR SPOUSE. DON'T PUT UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS ON THE ONE YOU LOVE OR YOURSELF. GOD BLESS YOU TODAY. XOXOXO

DAY 23 OF THE LOVE DARE: LOVE ALWAYS PROTECTS!

"LOVE ALWAYS PROTECTS," -1 Corinthians 13:7



Marriages are ending left and right. The divorce rate is high and yes, even in the church. Our enemy the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8) we need to be on our guard, standing firm and constantly praying that God put a protective hedge around our marriage, spouse, children and home. We are at battle and our marriage should be what we will fight for no matter what. Let's put on our Armor (Ephesians 6) and sheild. The grenades and spears that will be thrown our way. Unfortunatley the devil knows how to disguise these grenades. He knows our every weakness and preys on them. The devils one and only goal is to kill, steal and destroy. He hates marriage and desires to blind you with the distractions of this world and cause division in your home. Be aware of those obstacles in your life or marriage that may be disconnecting you from God, spouse and children! They can come in any form, here are a few:

1) Harmful Influences- though the television and internet can be used for enjoyable times and entertainment, they are also devices Satan will use to distract you. These things can bring destructive content or drain away precious hours from your family. Also work schedules thatt keep you seperated from each other for unhealthy amounts of time can be lethal. You can not protect your home if you are rarely there nor when you are relationally disconnected. You need to priortize your time and find balance in all things. If anyything such as the tv or internet bring struggles than c oose to take it out of your home.

2) Unhealthy Relationships- not everyone is good friend material. Its important you surround yyourself with friends who don't undermined your marriage and family. Find frineds who build you up and hold you accountable for making the right decisions. Be on guard at all times with friends of the opposite sex, or other random opposite sex relationships from work, the gym, or even people from church. You need to be careful (sad but so true). Be careful not to fall prey to other peoples vulnerabilities. Satan is capable of using these people to draw your away from the one you love.

3) Shame- everyone deals with somekind of inferiority or weakness. Its important you keep your spouses secrets to yourself. (Unless they are causing you harm) don't expose all their weakness and mistakes to everyone. Love hides the faults of others. Don't cause them to always feel ashmaed or embarrassed. Satan can use that to harden your spouses heart towarrds you.

4). PARASITES- watch out for parasites. A parasite is anything that latches onto you or your partner and sucks the life and joy out of your marriage. They are usually in the form of addictions, like gambling, drugs or pornography. They promise pleasure but grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, ttime and money. They steal away your loyalty and heart from those u love. Marriages rarely survive if parasites are present. If u love ur spouse you MUST DESTROY ANY ADDICTION THAT HAS YOUR HEART. IF YOU DON'T, IT WILL DESTROY YOU.

Wives- we have a role as a protector in our marriage. We must guard our hearts from being led away through novels, magazines, and other forms of entertainmen that blur your perception of reality and put unfair expectations on your husband. We are so easily enticed amd carried away by our hearts. Instead help ur husband feel loved and strong!

Husbands-you are the head of your home. You are the one responsible for guarding the gate and standing your ground against anything that would threaten your wife or marriage. You must sheild your marriage. Its not a small assignment...it takes courage and a head for preemptive action.. take this role seriously.

THE DARE: REMOVE ANYTHING THAT IS HINDERING YOUR RELATIONSHIP, ANY ADDICTION OR INFLUENCE THAT'S STEALING YOUR AFFECTIONS AND TURNING YOUR HEART AWAY FROM YOUR SPOUSE.

I'm praying for your strength in this. I pray you desire to do right be God, your marriage and your family. Make a choice today to save marriages.

DAY 22 of the Love Dare: Love is Faithful

"I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord."-Hosea 2:20



As Christians love is to be our whole identity because, " God so loved the World...." (john 3:16)
When asked to clarify what the greatest commandments of all were, Jesus said," Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength and all your mind and love your neighbor as yourself." (Luke 10:27) Love is to overflow out of us. Love is how others are supposed to distinguish us as Christ's Disciples. Have u ever met someone that just looked different to you? They shine and you knew that they were a Believer? This is how we as Christians should be. If we love God that much....it will flow from us onto others. It says in 1 Corinthians 13:1 that you can have the gift of speaking in tongues but not have love n you are like a resounding gong. If you have the gift of prophecy, knowlege and faith that moves mountains but if you don't have love than you are nothing. If you give all you possess to the poor and surrender your body to the flames but not have love then you gain nothing." "Love covers over a multitude of sins,"


Our Bible gives us direction for all areas of our life (Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth). God gives us so many examples of Love Stories in His Word. It is harder I think to really 'Shine' and overflow with love in our homes. Our family sees all our faults and weaknesses. Sometimes its harder to show them that we are Christ-like. Our Spouses are probabley the most challenging. How do we show love when we are hurt or rejected? What do you do when the one you promised your love too stop accepting your love? The story of Hosea is one of the most inspiring And remarkable stories. Against all logic God instructed Hosea to marry a protitute named Gomer. God wanted Hosea's marriage to show what Heaven's unconditional love looks like towards us. Together they had 3 children but as expected Gomer had long made her living in immorality and was not content to stay faithful to one man. Hosea was left to deal with a broken heart and the shame of abandonment. He loved her but she rejected him for lust. Time passed and God spoke to Hosea telling him to go and reaffirm his love for Gomer. She reached her low and was bought to be a slave but Hosea paid the price of her redemption and brought her home. Not matter how much she rejected and betrayed him he remained faithful. He forgave and brought her home. No that's love!

This is us and God. We continually are unfaithful to Him, betraying Him daily. But God responds with grace and mercy. He always stays faithful to us. God calls us to love even our enemies and do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you and pray for those who mistreat you. Yes its difficult. I know! If you are in a relationship or marriage where you are rejected or betrayed try and remain faithful. God will bless you. He is our example. Hosea is a great example. Put your hope in Christ. Your love will make a difference.

THE DARE: LOVE IS A CHOICE, NOT A FEELING. IT IS AN INITIATED ACTION, NOT A KNEE-Jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to th em today in words similar to these, "I LOVE YOU. PERIOD. I CHOOSE TO LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME IN RETURN."

Praying for love to overflow and shine through you. I pray your love be evident to all and you are radiant in Christs beauty. God Bless you.

DAY 21 of the LOVE DARE: LOVE IS SATISFIED IN GOD

"THE LORD WILL CONTINUALLY GUIDE YOU, AND SATISFY YOUR DESIRE.-ISAIAH 58:11


Now that we know what love is and where it comes from, we need to really seek God. In order for a lamp to light up and do its job it needs to plug into its source of power. If you have accepted Christ into your heart then its important you 'plug' into God daily as your source of power, joy, peace and love. The only way a lamp will light up and shine is by being plugged in eveytime! Without the source of power it is complete darkness.If you desire to light up and shine for your spouse. connect with God. Our source of communication with Him is diving into His Word daily (the Bible), also through prayer, this is how we talk to God and also through fellowship with other believers (this could be going to church, bible studies or just talking about the Lord). This is how Gods power is moved through us. Just as our bodies need food and water to survive, so does our Spiritual life, we need to be fed constantly in order to keep alive in Christ. I have been a Christian for along time but when I don't seek Him daily my Spiritual life literally starves and withers away. If I am not fed daily and given His living water, then I cannot grow and mature in Christ. You see what happens to children who are malnutritioned, their bodies begin to stop growing and they also are hindered in maturing.

We need God every single day, its not a one-time situation. God alone can satisfy when everything or everyone else fails. Our spouses will fails us. They are human and far from being perfect. We put high expectations on them, however, they are NO SUPERHERO. Its realitythat one time or another they will fail us. But God will NOT fail us.

Can your spouse give you inner peace? Umm, no, they more or less tend to bring us anxiety. But Philippians 4:6-7 says,"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with tanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus"

Can your spouse enable you to be content no matter what life throws at you? Absolutely not! We can try but we can never bring our spouses contentment. With situations like financial difficulties its impossible to tell your spouse everything will be ok and have them fully trust you. Its not in us or our spouses to have that kind of power! Philippians 4:12-13 says,"in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled.....I can do all things through Him that strengthens me"

We have needs in our lives that only God can fully satisfy. Our spouses can only do so much. We need to rely on God to bring us love, acceptance and peace....we need to not look at things or other people to fulfill it. That person will always fall short. When we seek Him first He will give us the desires of our heart. (Psalm 37:4....read it if u don't believe me). He needs to be our source of food and 'living' water. He knows what we need. "My God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ."-Philippians 4:19

Don't let the 'germs' of life infect your marriage. Do not allow ENVY, PRIDE, GREED AND WORRY TO CAUSE DIVISION in your home. When we are not satisfied in our lives,whether it be financially, physically, job wise, house wise etc...the devil sees all these as oppurtunities to tear you apart. Its hard to not worry about life...but don't let that seed grow...it will cause a destructive wall in your soul, marriage and family. Allow god to be your everyday supply and source of satifaction.

THE DARE: DESIRE TO HAVE A TRUE INTENTION TO SIT DOWN AND READ YOUR BIBLE. TRY READING A CHAPTER EVERYDAY FROM PROVERBS AND A CHAPTER IN ONE OF THE GOSPELS. IF LIFE IS REALLY HARD AND YOUR FACING TRIALS OF MANY KINDS READ JAMES OR PHILIPPIANS. AS YOU READ AND PRAY, REALLY IMMERSE YOURSELF IN GODS LOVE AND PROMISES. BELIEVE AND TRUST. THIS WILL HELP YOU GROW IN MANY WAYS AS YOU WALK WITH H I'M. THIS WILL ALSO HELP YOU GROW AS A SPOUSE. ASK GOD TO KEEP CHANGING YOUR HEART AND TRANSFORMING YOUR MIND. REALLY CHOOSE TO FEED YOUR SPIRIT SO YOU CAN HAVE GROWTH AND MATURITY.

I'm praying you find complete satisfaction in God, surrendering all that IS NOT FROM HIM and really choosing to pick up your cross and walk with Christ. I'm praying through this journey, you find rest from all worries and anxieties of this life. (Matt 11:28) God Bless you. May your soul be rich in satisfaction with Him.

DAY 20 of the LOVE DARE: LOVE IS JESUS CHRIST!

"While we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly."-Romans 5:6



Todays Dare is similar to yesterday. So the only way I could possibly explain what love is and where it comes from is by writing the lyrics to this song that I found to be perfect, so here it goes:


LOVE IS HERE BY TENTH AVENUE NORTH

"Come to the water you who thirst
And you'll thirst no more.

Come to the Father you who work
And you'll work no more.

All you who labor in vain
And to the broken and ashamed,

(Chorus)

'Love is here,
Love is now,
Love is pouring from His hands,
From His brows.

Love is near,
It satisfies,
Streams of mercy flowing from His side.

Cuz love is here.' (End of chorus)

Come to the treasure,
You who search
And you'll search no more.

Come to the lover
You who want
And you'll want no more.

And all who labor in vain
And to the broken and ashamed, yeah:

(Chorus)

And to the bruised and fallen,
Captives bound and the brokenhearted,
He is the Lord, He is the Lord, yeah..

By His stripes He's paid our ransom
From H is wounds we drink salvation.
He is the Lord, He is the Lord.

(Chorus).




I posted the link to this song performed live on youtube from the band. If you get a chance view it. Listen to his words. Listen to the song. This is our example of love. This IS what love is. I have a few questions for you? Would you give your child and sacrafice their life for this world? Knowing of all the 'sinners' in this world...all the molestors, adulterers, murderers, liars, and slanderers. Would you give your beautiful, angelic, perfect child in your eyes, to die for this corrupt human race? Could you do it? What about yourself....if you were raised a Christian your whole life, tho a sinner, you never killed anyone, never harmed a child or never had an affair on your spouse, but you tried to live your life like Christ and you were sentenced to be tortured and put to death by this world....would you do it? Would you lay down your life to save this corrupted world?

Have you every really truly thought about what God did for you by sacraficing his beautiful, angelic and perfect Son? He did that for you....to save you! Have you taken into account the torture that Jesus went through in order for you to live in Eternity? Have you realized that no matter how good you think you are....you can't earn your way to Heaven? We were given a gift....the gift of Love and Passion. This is our example of a perfect Love Story. This is how God desires us to love our Spouses. This is how God wants us to choose loving our family, friends and enemies. It is impossible to love this way without Christ being in your heart. His love flows through us.....

THE DARE: In this video (below) the leader of the band says, "I dare you to look around in this world and find something that flows out of you like living water." There is nothing this world can offer you that will flow from you like beautiful rushing waters. Nothing in this world will bring you that joy. DARE TO TAKE GOD AT HIS WORD. DARE TO TRUST JESUS CHRIST FOR SALVATION. DARE TO TRUST JESUS WITH YOUR LIFE, YOUR SPOUSE, AND YOUR MARRIAGE. ASK THE LORD TO CHANGE YOUR HEART AND TEACH YOU TO LOVE LIKE HIM.

God bless you today, tonight and always. I hope from today you can truly comprehend that His love is how we love. Praying for you, your hearts and marriages. You are so loved.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtube_gdata_player&v=wt8lGpnDWKM

DAY 19 of the LOVE DARE: LOVE IS IMPOSSIBLE

"LET US LOVE ONE ANOTHER, FOR LOVE IS FROM GOD; AND EVERYONE WHO LOVES IS BORN OF GOD AND KNOWS GOD"- 1 John 4:7


I know you are probably so confused by the title of todays dare. Just when your thinking you got this...and its possible for you to do, your thrown for a loop. But maybe its not what your thinking. Maybe there is a secret to this title or a hidden message....let's see!

So Day 10 we talked about love being (agape) unconditional, just out of curiousity, how many of you think you can do that on your own? Do you really love your spouse unconditionally? When they lie to you and betray you, in these times do you truly love them? Well, I'm here to encourage you, not discourage you, and let you know that it is humanly IMPOSSIBLE to love unconditionally. (Doesn't sound encouraging huh? Just hang on...keep reading). We don't have it in us. Love is from God, in order for us to love without fault, God needs to be in us.

"Love is from God"(1 John 4:7). And only those who have allowed Him into their heart through faith in His Son, Jesus-only those who have received the Spirit of Christ through His death and resurrection-are able to tap into loves real power. "Apart from me," Jesus said, "you can do nothing" (John 15:5) But by abiding in Christ, "we can do all things through Him who gives us strength"(Phillipians 4:13).

When you surrender yourself to Christ, His power can work through you. Even at our very best, we are not able to live up to Gods standards. But He "is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works with in us" (Ephesians 3:20) That is how we are able to love our spouse! So, as defeating as it may feel at times, there is that love He poured into us through the Holy Spirit that is always available, everytime we choose to submit it.

WE SIMPLY CANNOT DO IT WITHOUT GOD. WE ALL FALL SHORT OF GODS COMMANDS. (ROMANS 3:23). We ALL have demonstrated selfishness, hatred, pride, envy, and greed. We all have sinned. It is only through Jeus that we are cleansed and saved. It is only through Jesus that we are able to fully love. It is through Jesus that we are able to inwardly and outwardly do good. I have lived my life without Jesus...I have felt emptiness, void and all kinds of ugliness and evil inside. When I excepted Christ into my heart and believed He died and rose .again for me....I was renewed. I was WASHED, made Holy in His sight. I felt joy I never felt before. I felt love, peace and forgiveness. I desire to abide in His ways....I know when I try and do things on my own and take God out of the picture, it is chaos and I fail everytime. And its taken me numerous times to take control, ride the wave of selfishness and I crash. I fall and get back up. Without God I am a mess...He reminds me of that everytime I decide I want do things my way. I'm like the kid who nevers learns...who keeps reaching for the cookies and gets his hand stuck everytime. The price we pay for a lil 'pleasure' sometimes....we always get caught.

So maybe your like me, you asked Christ into your heart years ago. You remember that joy you felt and the peace was undescribable. But somewhere along the road, through trials, tragedies or heartbreak you walked so far away from Gods side that you lost complete sight of Him. (This has been me...often) but God will never lose sight of you. His dreams and goals for you are in His hands and He is still waiting for you. He hasn't left you but wants you to choose Him. He is waiting where you left Him and wants you to come back. Call to Him, ask Him to lead the way. It s never to late. He promises things won't always be easy...but he is so faithful in staying with us and pulling us through. "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for He who promised is faithful,"-Hebrews 10:23. Hold onto hope in Christ.

If you have never asked Jesus into your heart and you are feeling drawn to Him. That is the Holy Spirits nudging, saying it is time. If you feel led and realize that you to have fallen short of God commands and you feel your guilt will keep you from knowing Him. If you are broken and your pain is so intense understand, the Scripture says that if you repent by turning away from your sin and turning to God, He is willing to forgive you because of the sacrafice His Son made on the cross. Receive His love and forgiveness. Ask Him to dwell in heart and cleanse you from all unrighteousness. God loves you....He created you and has a purpose for you,"For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11). If you are so tired from all the stress and pain you are facing this verse helps me "Come all of you who are burdened and weary and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28. Find rest in God.

If you struggle loving your spouse with an unconditional love, know it is possible, only through Christ. I promise He can heal all wounds. He can help you see your spouse through His eyes. God now sees us as white as snow and sinless thanks to Jesus....wouldn't it be amazing to see your spouse the same way and to love them with Gods love?

THE DARE:LOOK OVER THE DARES FROM PREVIOUS DAYS. WERE THERE SOME THAT SEEMED IMPOSSIBLE TO YOU? HAVE YOU REALIZED YOUR NEED FOR GOD TO CHANGE YOUR HEART AND GIVE YOU THE ABILITY TO LOVE? ASK GOD TO SHOW YOU WHERE YOU STAND WITH HIM AND ASK FOR STRENGTH AND GRACE TO SETTLE YOUR ETERNAL DESTINATION.

GOD BLESS YOU. PRAYING FOR YOUR MARRIAGES AND YOUR HEART!

DAY 18 of the LOVE DARE: LOVE SEEKS TO UNDERSTAND

"HOW BLESSED IS THE MAN WHO FINDS WISDOM AND THE MAN WHO GAINS UNDERSTANDING"- Proverbs 3:13


Three questions for you regarding your spouse:
1) Do u know his or hers greatest hopes and dreams?
2) Do you fully understand how they prefer to give and receive love?
3) do you know what your spouse's greatest fears are and why they struggle with them?


If you can answer all these questions correctly then you are pretty understanding of your spouse. If you can't then we need to talk! These are the deeper issues and just some examples of questions you should ask yourself often. These don't include the basics like their favorite color, food etc. If you don't know those then I think its a good idea u really start over and sit down with your spouse and desire to know the answers.

In most cases whatever you are passionate about you seek out to discover and understand. I can give you a great example. God bless my husband, love him, but I need to use him as an example. Men...you will probabley relate: My handsome husband looooovvvvveeessss football and everything about it. He seeks out to understand everything from the teams, players, stats and plays. He listens to the annoying AM RADIO channels, he reads about it, watches it, seeks stuff about it online, coaches football and even at times plays. He even has a fantasy football team. He is passionate about it, loves the thrill, it gives him the goosebumps and he gets excited over it. He constantly seeks to understand everything about Football and keeps up with it daily! Why? Because he loves it!

So know that we have a great example....How many of you do the same in your marriage? Are you passionate about your spouse? Do you discover things about them daily that just excite you and give you goosebumps? How many of you can say you understand everything about their likes, dislikes, passions, love language, hurts and heartaches? Probabley not many of us. Whatever we tend to love the most is what we seek out the most. Its all in choice and action. When we get married we get comfortable and lazy. You stop listening and discovering. You assume in the beginning that's who they are and they won't change. But some of the problems we face in our marriage is because we don't understand them and sometimes choose to not try. Men and women are totally different but when you bring the two together and throw in their different backgrounds, family dynamic and values then it really gets complex! Its like oil and vinegar...they don't mix but still go great together. All those factors of family dynamic and tragedies from the past etc all tie in to make u the person u r today! They play a huge role...that's why its time to turn off the tv, put down the newspaper, stop folding laundry and wake up! Start studying your spouse. Put more time and effort into your marriage then you do your job or extra curricular activities!


Search your heart.....what do you treasure the most? If something were to happen to your spouse or children tomorrow would u say u truly discovered everyone of their hearts needs and desires? Did you pour all your passion into God, spouse, and family or did you pour all your passions into things? Jesus warns us in Matthew 6:19-21, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and thieves do not break in and steal. FOR WHERE YOUR TREASURE IS, THERE YOUR HEART WILL BE ALSO." Its time to get serious. Its time to really search your heart, your treasures and your motive. Tomorrow is not promised. You are not in control of your life. Don't live your life and marriage with regrets.

Seek to understand God and He will give you wisdom and discernment in seeking to understand your spouse.

God Bless You Today, I am praying for all of your hearts and passions. I'm praying you would all choose to be passionate about a relationship with Christ, then your Marriage, and then your family. I'm praying God would show you where your time and energy is spent. I'm praying for you.

THE DARE: CHOOSE TODAY TO REALLY SEARCH YOUR HEART. THEN CHOOSE TO PUT GOD FIRST THEN YOUR MARRIAGE AND THEN YOUR FAMILY. SERIOUSLY CHOOSE TO UNDERSTAND YOUR SPOUSE AND STUDY THEM. TONIGHT IF THE OPPURTUNITY ARISES MAKE A NICE DINNER OR DESSERT. TURN OF THE TELEVISION AND STUDY YOUR SPOUSE. TALK ABOUT THE BASICS OF YOUR LIKES AND DISLIKES. THEN TAKE IT TO A DEEPER LEVEL. AND ASK THEY NEED TO BE LOVED. ASK WHAT THEY FEARS ARE AND WHY. CHOOSE TO BE PASSIONATE AND LEARN SOMETHING NEW ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE. PLEASE BE KIND, NO ARGUING OR DEFENSIVENESS AND PLEASE REALLY LISTEN. IF THE CONVERSATION TURNS TO TEARS....BE COMPASSIONATE. END WITH A HUG OR PASSIONATE KISS.

MANY BLESSINGS......

DAY 17 of the LOVE DARE: LOVE PROMOTES INTIMACY

"HE WHO COVERS OVER AN OFFENSE PROMOTES LOVE, BUT WHOEVER REPEATS THE MATTER SEPERATES CLOSE FRIENDS."-Proverbs 17:9


Marriage is to be the most intimate relationship physically and emotionally. We can have other close relationships with friends and sibilings but none other compares to the relationship between man and woman that God created in Marriage. He designed us to be so intimate that He made us to be as one! How much closer can u get to a person when u are one!? You're are connected, joined at the hip and glued so tightly that there are no cracks of division.

In some marriages though the cracks are visible. But we as humans need those cracks( or voids) filled with something. You may not realize it but its true. We all have certain voids in our life and deep issues that u try n tuck away. Instead of letting those wounds heal in a slow healing process by nursing it, you just slap on a band-aid. You try and keep yourself busy with other things, you drink so u don't have to think about anything or you go shopping because 'stuff' makes you feel better etc etc. We all have cracks. What's dangerous is those cracks in your marriage. What are u filling or 'repairing' those cracks with. Is it working all the time so u don't have to spend time with your spouse? Is it hanging with your friends? Is it a flirtatious relationship with someone at work?

Is the foundation of your marriage sturdy and rock solid? We need our marriages to be set on a safe firm foundation. Take a building for example....buildings can not stand on a cracked foundation...its unsafe. Eventually that building will crumble and fall. Our marriages will do the same. Meeting each others needs whether it be phsically or emotionally is so important. You cannot hold a marriage together with selfishness...it doesn't work! You have to be selfless and put your spouse first. We as humans need to feel loved, valued and need to feel we matter. We need to know that our desires are important to our spouse. If our desires and voids are not met by our spouses then we will eventually look for them to be met by something or someone else!


I know when you think of the word "Intimacy" you probabley automatically associate it with sex but it also means closeness, affection and warmth. We need to create an intimate safe haven in our marriages. It needs to be a place where you feel warmth, comfort and security. We need to be able to share our secrets without judgement or ridicule. Before you have a great intimate sex life its important you have a close emotional initmate bond. For most of us women we need to feel connected and close with our spouse before we can fully give ourselves to our husbands physically. For men sex is probabley more important....lol! Just kidding I know you men have emotion! The reality of intimacy always takes time to develop especially after being compromised but trust can be rebuilt. Intimacy in a marriage in ALL WAYS is so important. Be watchful of any 'cracks'. The devil will always see an open oppurtunity to cause division. Pray against these things. Pray for God to fill these voids. If ur marriage lacks physical intimacy be honest with your spouse about it. This opens up oppurtunities to sin sexually and the devil will tempt you in those weaknesses. If your marriage lacks emotional intimacy be honest with your spouse. Ask them to listen to your needs and don't go running to the hot co-worker. Don't flirt with temptation. Prevent it before problems occur.

THE DARE: TODAY DESIRE TO PROMOTE INTIMACY IN YOUR MARRIAGE. START WITH PROMOTING IT FIRST EMOTIONALLY. THEN PRAY FOR GOD TO REVEAL ANY CRACKS YOU MAY HAVE IN YOUR MARRIAGE AND IF SO THINK ABOUT HOW THEY ARE BEING FILLED. DESIRE TO CREATE A SAFE HAVEN IN YOUR MARRIAGE AND LISTEN TO YOUR SPOUSES NEEDS AND STRUGGLES WITHOUT CRITICISM. PRAY FOR YOUR MARRIAGE TO BE PROTECTED FROM ANY DANGERS.

GOD BLESS YOU. I AM PRAYING FOR REVELATION AND PROTECTION IN YOUR MARRIAGE. I am praying your marriage be filled with true and ultimate intimacy in everyway. I'm praying you will choose today to start fresh and start filling your 'cracks' with God's Love and will choose to handle things the way you know the Lord would want u too. Love you all and your dedication. Please choose God and your marriage!

DAY 16 OF THE LOVE DARE: LOVE INTERCEDES!

"Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers."- 3 John 2



WE CANNOT CHANGE OUR SPOUSE! As much as we would love to change them from the inside out we just don't have that kind of power! We cannot play God and reach into their brain and heart and mold them into who we want them to do be. But most couples spend a majority of their time trying to do that! I think the motherly instinct in us women sometimes takes control and we don't realize that the nuturing part of us tries to 'teach' our husbands the way we think they should be taught. Or we will jump into a relationship because we believe we can help that person...we tend to wanna rescue.

I can honestly say when I met my husband he was not a Christian. I knew the Lord and believed in my heart (and justified dating him) that I could win him over to Christ. I had the right intention but wrong motive. The Spirit was willing but my flesh was soooo weak. God tells us to not be unequally yoked for a reason. The pain, frustration and consequences that come are difficult. I realized after having kids then getting married it was going to be an even longer road then I thought. I couldn't change my husband no matter what I did, how I acted or what I said. I was beyond frustrated and basically going insane. I lost sight of God and who God wanted me to be because I was so focused on trying to gain acceptance from my spouse. I would talk about God, I would drag him to church, I would pray with kids and do bible studies, I would try n be quiet n submissive and when those things didn't work I would completly blow my example by screaming, yelling and crying. I would point the finger and blame him for our jacked up life because he wasn't a Christian. I turned psycho over the frustration of having no control over him. I wanted to literally beat him with a hose until he cried out for Jesus! Lol.....and after all that he would say, "if that's how a Christian acts...then I don't wanna be one!" Everything I tried did the opposite! God tells us in 1 Peter 3:1, "wives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words but by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives." We need to tame our tongues and focus on our relationship with Christ so He can change us and make our hearts pure. We need Gods hand in all of it.

We need to be like the "Wise Farmer". A farmers life is based on faith and trust. A farmer cannot make a seed grow into a fruitful crop. He cannot argue, manipulate, force growth or demand it grow. All he can do is plant the seed into fertile soil, give it water and nutrients, protect it from weeds and then turn it over to God. This is a great example for us. We can plant the seed, nuture it with spiritual food, follow Gods directions and most importantly we must PRAY!

EFFECTIVE PRAYER IN YOUR LIFE AND MARRIAGE is huge! Just yesterday, a beautiful elderly couple came into my work. They shared with me how they have been married 50 years. I asked what the secret was to holding it together that long and she replied,"I spent everyday on my knees praying for hours. Without God and prayer it wouldn't have worked!" Amen to that! Change doesn't happen over night and this Challenge may not work the first time around. But it will hopefully teach you the things you need to change within yourself. With a humble heart we must pray and be willing to accept the things WE cannot change and really give it to God. If u desire to have a stronger marriage most likely it will need to start with yourself and changing you from the inside out.

I prayed for my husband to know Christ for years. He accepted Christ in his life 5 years ago but it has taken him until recently to really develop and seek a relationship with Him. Its not easy. Its been a long rough road for us and yes I wanted to give up and I did for a year. Divorce was the only option for me, my heart had been through enough and so had our children. But honestly the grass wasn't greener on the other side. That life was rough too. I gave up on God...I stopped getting on my knees, I stopped praying for my spouse and didn't believe God could do the miracle of changing him. But I realized it wasn't just him that needed change....it was me too. I was guilty of having a 'holier than thou' attitude. I needed to be humbled and changed from the inside out. I need to be reminded that, I too, made mistakes and hurt him. God changed our hearts for eachother a year after seperation. God brought both of us to our knees...where we should have been in the first place.

My point today, DO NOT GIVE UP. GET ON YOUR KNEES. PRAY FOR UR MARRIAGE. PRAY FOR WISDOM. PRAY GOD CHANGES UR HEART FIRST AND THEN UR SPOUSES. This challenge is not promised to change your marriage completly. However, I promise that if you get on your knees and pray and carry out each DARE with all ur heart, then your spouse will be affected in some way and your marriage will begin to bloom. It may take weeks, months or in my case...almost 10 years. But if God is first and he is the foundation of your life you will be on the road to success. Depend on God for making the changes.

THE DARE: BEGIN PRAYING FOR YOUR SPOUSE'S HEART TODAY! START BY PRAYING FOR 3 SPECIFIC AREAS WHERE U DESIRE FOR GOD TO WORK IN YOUR SPOUSES LIFE AND IN YOUR MARRIAGE.

I am praying for all marriages today. I'm praying for those marriages that are barely hanging on. I'm praying you will get on your knees and cry out to Jesus. I'm praying God will give you a humble heart and open mind. I'm praying every one of u will daily lift ur spouse up in prayer. I'm praying you will weed out all the bad and nuture and bring back to life the good. God Bless you.

DAY 15 of the LOVE DARE: LOVE IS HONORABLE

"LIVE WITH YOUR WIVES IN AN UNDERSTANDING WAY....AND SHOW HER HONOR AS A FELLOW HEIR OF THE GRACE OF LIFE."-1 Peter 3:7


There are certain words in our language that have powerful meaning and hold high value. These words never lose their quality, class or dignity. One of those words is HONOR. When the word HONOR IS USED you associate it with 'respect' or nobility.

To honor someone means to give them respect and high esteem, to treat them special and of great worth. When you speak to them you keep your language clean and understandable, you are also courteous and polite. Much like when someone visits The Queen of England (there are certain ways you are to show honor to her).

There are also ways we should honor our spouses. For example; when they are speaking to us we should take them seriously, giving their words significance or when they ask you to do something, you accomdate them simply out of respect. In a true marriage, honoring your mate means you give them your full attention, not talking to them behind a newspaper or while keeping your eyes on the television. That is seriously so annoying...lol. Both my husband and I appreciate being looked at when we are talked too and find it rude and disrespectful when our eyes are focused on something else while in conversation. Its a way u show honor and respect to your spouse. Its also a way of 'delighting' (yesterdays DARE) in them. Your spouse wants your focus and when you give that too them intently it allows them to feel honored. When your spouse has to snap their fingers in ur face and say, "HELLOOOO, eyes over here please! Can u listen?"....then you have issues! Maybe an ettiquette course would be necessary and helpful....lol!

The other word today is a word that calls us to an even higher place. Its a word that forms the basis of honor and not many people associate it with marriage. Its the word, HOLY. When we think of 'holy' we think more about God. But 'holy' doesn't mean to be perfect, it means to be set apart for a higher purpose (no longer common, comfortable, or everyday) but special and unique. A person (which should be your spouse) who is holy to you has a special place in your heart that no one can rival. They are sacred and a person to be praised and defended. (Lol...I can't help but think of Robin Hood,the movie with Kevin Costner....and the soundtrack song from Bryan Adams) don't judge ok...I thought that was a great example....he is defending and protecting her. He also honors her in high respects!

We women treat our bridal gowns as sacred! Its a material thing but maybe u will understand through this analagy. We wear it on that special day and afterwards we cover it, seal it and protect it. We also set it apart from everything else in our closets. (If ur me...it so set apart that u can't even find it). But we won't be wearing it around town or doing dishes and chores in it and using it for everyday wear and tear life...heck no! That thing is sacred and protected! No one is touchin it!

When we marry we are joined together in 'HOLY matrimony'. We are joined in holiness as one and set apart from everyone else. We are joined in togetherness to be intimate with only eachother, to have children together and develop a life with this person.

If your marriage isn't the way you want it today and you or your spouse do not feel honored, but instead disrespected then its important that today you start over and choose LOVE. LOVE HONORS WHEN ITS REJECTED. Easier said then done. But don't keep going in the CRAZY CYCLE. Make a change. Be devoted to honoring your spouse and set them apart from the rest. Hold them in high value....a priceless value! When feeling unloved or your marriage is lacking in so many ways...be the bigger person and make an attempt. I dare u too try. I dare you to honor ur spouse, delight in them, cherish them and forgive them. I dare u to love them.

THE DARE: CHOOSE A WAY TO REALLY SHOW HONOR AND RESPECT TO YOUR SPOUSE TODAY THAT IS ABOVE AND BEYOND YOUR NORMAL ROUTINE. OPEN UP A DOOR FOR HER, PUT AWAY HIS CLOTHES. TAKE YOUR EYES OFF WHATEVER ELSE YOUR LOOKING AT (except if ur driving) AND LISTEN TO THEIR WORDS. SHOW UR SPOUSE THE IMPORTANT SIGNIFICANCE THEY HOLD IN YOUR LIFE.

Really focus on the words HONOR and HOLY....apply these to your marriage and your relationship with Christ. I'm praying for all of u today....praying for CHANGE. I'm praying a difference will be made. God Bless You, Provide for you and Protect you and ur marriages.

DAY 14 OF THE LOVE DARE: LOVE TAKES DELIGHT

"ENJOY LIFE WITH THE WIFE YOU LOVE ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR FLEETING LIFE."- Ecclesiastes 9:9




As you can see....todays DARE is strictly for the MEN to do! Just kidding...sorry ladies...we are involoved too...lol! This challenge today really takes some soul searching and mind training. Before we dive into this I want you to ask yourself why you are doing this DARE. DO U FEEL LED BY YOUR HEART? Do you feel it was the wise thing to do? Or u really aren't sure why your reading this everyday? Well no matter what the reason, its a blessing you are following along. I pray that everyones heart and mind would be in this because one of the most important things you should learn on this LOVE DARE journey is that you should not just follow your heart, you should LEAD it! I speak to myself when saying this (and most women), we cannot let our feelings and emotions always do the driving! We need to put them in the back seat and tell them where we are going! For women it may be more of a challenge because its in our nature to be lead with our heart...we reach out with our hearts, while men process things from their heart to their brain (or vice versa) and then reach out. So today everybody take a deep breath, drink coffee and get the wheels in ur mind turning and really clear your brain from all negativity or stresses.....FOCUS!

In a marriage relationship, you won't always FEEL like loving. Its unrealistic for you heart to constantly be thrilled at spending every waking hour (and sleeping) with your spouse. Nobody can maintain a burning desire on just feelings alone! Its also difficult to love them out of obligation. For newlyweds that burning desire lingers and you do burn with this new love. But for us longer married folk there is something just as powerful as new love, its called DECISION. We need to choose love...love is choice put into action. We need to choose to delight in our spouse quirks and all! Choose to DELIGHT and unchoose DISGUST. Yes, I said it...disgust...you all know what I am talking about. You all have various thoughts that run through your mind on a bad day! Love that chooses to love is just as powerful as love that feels like loving. In most ways its truer love because its eyes are wide open...looking passed all the negative.

Let your heart lead to once again delight in your spouse and really really take the time to ENJOY them. Desire their conversation, take their hand when walking, hug them while their standing in the kitchen or just look into their eyes and admire there beauty. We need to delight in those things once again that attracted us to them in the first place. I know this seems repititive, but its so important we bring those loving thoughts and feelings back. Its important everyday we really live in the "APPRECIATION ROOM" of our hearts (DAY 7). We need to remember why we fell in love in the first place.

Again, we choose what we treasure. We weren't not born with certain preferences we are destined to operate from. 'Your treasure is where ur heart is....'. If we irritable, its because we choose to be (however, for some of us women during that time of the month, it is harder to control). If we can't function without a clean house its because we decided no other way will do (guilty) and if you pick at your spouse more than u praise them....its because you've allowed your heart to be selfish and be led by criticism (also guilty....ugh, I really need work, geez).

I have a title for this next part (we need to lead our heart out of the negative). I Would like to call our makeover: "REHABILITATION". I honestly believe that starting over and wiping the slate clean could be considered as rehabilitation. We need therapy, our minds and hearts need to be healed and worked all over again. We need training and excercise of our heart and mind. First it starts with giving it all to the Lord. Letting go and letting Him heal and then when u have truly forgiven then u can be trained to once again delight in ur spouse. Trust me....my husband and I have been there. Its no easy road or easy task....but it is possible with Christ. He was able to literally heal my broken heart overnight. Not saying this will happen to any of you. But I know that only God can do a miracle like that. The only thing I did was CHOOSE to let the past go.

Song of Solomon in the Bible is a perfect example of a beautiful love story. They take pleasure in one another. I suggest reading this! Men...stop worrying about being too mushy. Its not wimpy...it shows u r a true MANLY MAN. If u can show and express the love u feel in heart without holding back, u would be that Knight in Shining Armor. You would be our Hero! Women, if u could express your true love without being afraid of rejection, you may just win his heart. Be kind, be gentle and be compassionate. Don't let ur ugliness on the inside come out like a roaring lion. Don't be a nag...u will do the opposite. Be ur husbands encourager...delight in his great abilities!

It is your responsibility to relearn what you love about the person u promised to be with forever!

THE DARE: PURPOSEFULLY NEGLECT AN ACTIVITY YOU WOULD NORMALLY DO SO YOU CAN SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR SPOUSE. DO SOMETHING HE OR SHE WOULD LOVE TO DO LIKE (WATCH A MOVIE ...WITHOUT FALLING ASLEEP), TAKE A WALK, PLAY A GAME, READ UR BIBLE TOGETHER, OR JUST TURN EVERYTHING OFF AND JUST HAVE A DEEP CONVERSATION (WITHOUT NEGATIVITY OR ARGUING, JUST SIT AND LISTEN AND OBSERVE)

GOD BLESS YOU ALL TODAY. I PRAY YOU ALL HAVE A WILLING HEART, MIND AND SPIRIT TO TRULY DELIGHT IN CHRIST AND YOUR SPOUSE. I'M. TRULY PRAYING YOU DESIRE ONENESS WITH YOUR SPOUSE AND TRULY DESIRE CHRIST AS YOUR FOUNDATION. TRUST ME WHEN I SAY, IF U TAKE CHRIST OUT OF UR LIFE AND MARRIAGE IT WILL NOT WORK. HE IS OUR GLUE. THE WORLD WILL DO ANYTHING TO DESTROY IT FROM ALL ENDS.....

DAY 13 of the LOVE DARE: LOVE FIGHTS FAIR

"IF A HOUSE IS DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF, THAT HOUSE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO STAND,"- Mark 3:25

I find it ironic that this is what we are being challenged on today. My hubby and I have struggled many years to learn how to fight fair and well....we struggle still. We both have a lack of self-control at times to 'chill' both of us are tempted often to go from 0 to 60 in 2 seconds. Self-control when anger comes is very hard to tame especially when it hasn't been practiced for years! But lacking self control in fighting brings so much pain not just to the couple who fights but also to those around you. But we will get to more of that later....

Conflict in marriage is inevitable. There will always be areas of conflict when you bring two different people together who live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, and share all the 'adult' responsiblities of bills, food costs, and child-rearing etc. Who ever said growing up was supposed to be fun? I remember my parents telling me that i will wish I was still a kid when I reached their age. Remember we couldn't wait to be grown-ups? Ugh, why? Responsibilties can suck...too put it lightly. Anyway, sorry for tangit. So yea, when we have all these crazy burdens in life n marriage we can't escape tensions especially when u just don't agree or can't find compromise.

Storms of life begin testing at some point in ur marriage, revealing what each of u are really made of. Unfortunatley work demands, health issues, in-law arguments, and FINANCIAL FLARES will at some point drive u too insanity if u let it. No matter what...pressures will come but its how we handle those pressures that will either make ur marriage or break it. But it takes two...both parties need to be in agreement.

Todays dare will not get rid of conflict but with communication, strength, and accountability it can make dealing with conflict in ur marriage healthier. Most of the time in the heat of the moment is when we really blow it. All morals, horrible words and sounds, and all ugliness comes out. This is when most damage is done in a marriage and for some of u it feels like the point of no return! We need to learn to put on the brakes, put up guardrails and put the airbags on before horrible accidents occur. when we argue we need Love to Lead us. We need to remember how valuable our marriage is. So here are some 'we' and 'me' boundaries to help you when conflict occurs. These boundaries should be talked about between both of u but most importantly need to be prayed about.

'WE' BOUNDARIES:
1) WE WILL NEVER MENTION DIVORCE
2) WE WILL NOT BRING UP OLD UNRELATED ITEMS FROM THE PAST
3) WE WILL NEVER FIGHT IN PUBLIC OR IN FRONT OF OUR CHILDREN
4) WE WILL CALL A "TIME OUT" IF CONFLICT ESCALATES TO A DAMAGING LEVEL
5) WE WILL NEVER TOUCH ONE ANOTHER IN HARM WAYS
6) WE WILL NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY WITH ONE ANOTHER
7) FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. WHATEVER IT TAKES, WE WILL WORK THIS OUT

With a humbling heart, all these my husband and I have been guilty of and in all honesty...fighting the way we have for years isn't worth the damage it does in the long run. I know in the heat of any arguement its hard to sit down, shut up, and open ur ears. But I do know that when u don't do thos things the damage done to eachother, yourself, and your children is 10 times harder to clean up and heal. This is a weak spot in our home that has gotten better but we still need growth on. We have had many expensive and hurtful arguements...but the pain after when things are settled isn't worth it. It is much less painful to shut up and let ur pride go. Its much less painful to tame ur tongue and open up ur ears.

Now for the 'ME' BOUNDARIES:
1) I WILL LISTEN FIRST BEFORE SPEAKING. "Everyone must be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger" James 1:19
2) I WILL DEAL WITH MY OWN ISSUES UP-FRONT. "Why do u look at the speck in your brothers eye but do not notice the log in your own eye." Matthew 7:3
3) I WILL SPEAK GENTLY AND KEEP MY VOICE DOWN. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

The last verse is so true. Its not always what u say but sometimes the huge factor is the tone of ur voice. For some of us...(like my handsome handsome) u r just naturally loud (and u wonder why ur children r so loud..lol) and its harder for u to be more gentle and keep ur voice down. But u need to excercise whispering then. No excuses. Ur tone can set someone off before they even no what ur gonna say. The tone and volume comes out before the word! For others of us, like me, we just need to shut up and close our mouths. Take a few deep breaths and open ur eyes. Let them get there point across...then gently answer.

Let's try and fight fair from this moment on. Don't let conflict destruct ur marriage.

On a personal note, to my husband...I love you and I am sorry for all the wrong ways I have handled conflict. I pray for continuous growth and self control in our marriage. I promise to keep trying to put these boundaries in action. Xoxoxo

THE DARE: TALK WITH UR SPOUSE ABOUT ESTABLISHING HEALTHY RULES OF CONFLICT AND 'STORMS'. IF UR MATE ISN'T READY FOR THIS THEN WRITE OUT UR OWN PERSONAL RULES OF FIGHTING FAIR. RESOLVE TO TRULY ABIDE BY THEM WHEN THE NEXT DISAGREEMENTS OCCUR.

GOD BLESS YOU....PRAYING WE ALL WILL PRACTICE THESE BOUNDARIES. REMEMBER GUARDRAILS ARE PUT UP TO KEEP U FROM FALLING. THEY R A TOOL TO HELP SAVE UR LIFE. STAY WITH IN THE GUARDRAILS.

DAY 12 of the LOVE DARE: LOVE LETS THE OTHER WIN

"Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."- Phillippians 2:4

How many of u if asked what u and ur spouse disagree about can create a list in seconds? Whether they r minimual disagreements like how to do the dishes or huge disagreements like how many children to have or financial issues, as long as they aren't dealt with they will continue to surface in ur marriage?

Everyone has a lil case of stubborness. We were born with it. Stubborness means to be unyielding, headstrong, immovable or unbendable. The opposite of stubborn is to be 'willing', tractable, and easily moved or shaped. A lot of us aren't willing to be tractable. I think some huge factors are fear, trust, and a sense of pride. We think our way is always the right way. This I am guilty of. Eventually stubbornness will put its wear and tear on a marriage. Everytime you choose to be unbendable or ignore those 'issues' in your marriage you seperate and disconnect little by little. When u choose ur way in stead of giving in a lil ur spouse will be hurt and let down. This is when walls come up, resentment sets in etc. The rope that holds u together begins to fray everytime u choose 'ur way.'

Instead of being stubborn we need to follow Jesus example of 'willing' and unselfish love. Could u imagine Jesus telling his Father,"No God, I completely disagree with u. I can't lay down my life for these stubborn and imperfect people u created. I can't save this human race. They are unsavable. I however, am without blemish or blame...they dont deserve for me to die for them." Jesus would never say that! Jesus was WILLING AND UNSELFISH IN LOVE. We are to follow His example in our marriage. Just as he saved us through a willing spirit, we need to save our marriages with an unselfish love and willing spirit. If we love our spouse and would lay down our life for them we need to be willing to compromise!

Compromise means to settle a disagreement with mutual concessions. Somewhere in between the issue u gotta meet in the middle. Someone or somethings gotta give. Being stubborn will never help u win. U will lose in the end. You will not always see eye to eye on everything...we aren't clones. You never know the blessing God can have for you as a couple if u would be obedient, listen to one another, have and open mind/heart and really treat each other with love and respect.

I know that there are certain issues that should never be compromised in a relationship. Sexual immorality is one that should never be compromised. Abuse should never be compromised. Making money in illegal ways should never be compromised etc. Issues that you know our biblically wrong in God's eyes should never be a question of compromise. You all know issues that put your family or marriage at risk should never even be a doubt in your mind. I'm talking about issues that are causing a hinderence that keep you from growing closer together.

If u love ur spouse...if u desire to keep things going then really pray about these issues whether they are small or big. Remember what maybe 'small' to u may be 'huge' to ur spouse. That's why u need to sit back and really reflect. Really think with an unselfish, Christlike love. When u can learn to see things through ur spouses eyes....it changes u. I am praying we will all learn to find a healthy balance of compromise in our marriages. I pray ur love to ur spouse will be revealed as 'Christ's' love. There are things in some of ur marriages that require a huge sacrafice. Think about it today. Is there a sacrafice you are willing to make in order to find compromise in ur marriage and help u to flourish?

THE DARE:TAKE TIME TO REFLECT ON UR MARRIAGE TODAY. WHAT DISAGREEMENTS (small or large) DO U HAVE ON A CONTINUOUS BASIS? WHERE DO U NEED TO FIND COMPROMISE? IS IT AS SMALL AS THE DISHES OR YARDWORK? IS IT FINANCES,A JOB SIUATION, UR CHILDREN or anything else that causes a hinderence (in ur spouses eye's) DEMONSTRATE UR LOVE TODAY BY WILLINGLY CHOOSING TO GIVE IN TO AN AREA OF DISAGREEMENT BETWEEN U AND UR SPOUSE. FIND RESOLUTION AND COMPROMISE. TELL THEM U CHOOSE THEIR PREFERENCE FIRST. (Sacrafice urself)

GOD BLESS U ALL RICHLY IN UR LIVES, HOMES, FAMILY AND ESPECIALLY YOUR MARRIAGE.
AMEN!

DAY 11 of the LOVE DARE: LOVE CHERISHES

"Husbands ought to also love their own wives as their own bodies."-Ephesians 5:28

"Consider these two different scenarios. First one- a mans older car begins to break down, so he takes it to a mechanic. After an assesssment is done, its concluded that the car needs a complete overhaul which would be over is budget limit. Because of the expensive repairs. He decides to get rid of the car and spend his money on a new vehicle. Seem's reasonable right?

secons scenario-another man who is an engineer, accidentally crushes his hand in a piece of equipment. He rushes to the hospital, has xrays done and finds out that many bones in his hand are broken. Though he is frustrated and pained he decides to spend his savings to have it doctored, placed in a cast and nursed backed to health for a few months. This too, seems reasonable.

But in our culture with marriage today, we often treat it like the first scenario. We experience problems in your marriage ur urged to trade it in for a 'newer model'. Those who have this view don't understand the significant bond between husband and wife. In truth, marriage is more like (and needs to be) more like the second scenario. We are one. We complete each other and part of one another. You would never cut your hand off if it was injured but would pay whatever you can afford for the best medical treatment. This is because ur hand is part of u. Its priceless. Its worth spending ur savings on.

So is ur spouse! They are one with u....priceless. God made u to be joined physically, spiritually, and emotionally. You start off sharing the same house, bed and last name. When ur spouse goes thhrough tragedy then u both feel it. When one finds success in a job, u both rejoice. But somewhere along the way u experience disappointments and u realize who u married is an imperfect person. However u still are joined. Ephesians 5:28-29 says,'husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes it and cherishes it.'

We are to care n nuture our spouse as we do our own body. Love them the way u love yourself. It is possible to mistreat ur spouse and be mistreating yourself at the same time. Anything you do good or bad to them effects u both the same.when u attack them, u attack ur own body."

WE NEED TO LET LOVE MOTIVATE US. LET LOVE CHANGE UR WAY OF THINKING. When true love...unconditional love, (God) lives inside u and is overflowing you will realize you need to trulu cherish your spouse. Your spouse needs to be loved....if he/she has hurts, frustrations or concerns, then its ur job to nuture these problems with gentleness, compassion, and tenderness. Care for them as you would ur own bodily injury. Be that instrument that brings healing in their life..how do u treat ur spouse? Do u cherish them? Do u take pleasure in them or do u make them feel foolish or embarrassed? Treasure them as you would ur eyes, hands and feet. They are the priceless gift in your life. We don't know what tomorrow brings. We need to treasure our spouse and enjoy everyday they have with us.

Don't let our world convince you that its okay to discard ur marriage and replace it. Don't let the world determine the worth and value of ur marriage. We are to honor God in our marriage. Cutting off our spouse is like cutting off a limb. When a husband looks into the eyes of his wife he should remember that 'he who loves his wife, loves himself.' And when she loves him she needs to know she also gives love n honor to herself. Treat ur spouse with love and respect. Speak highly of them.

THE DARE:THINK OF A SPECIFIC NEED THAT YOU COULD MEET FOR YOUR SPOUSE TODAY. CAN U RUN AND ERRAND? CAN U GIVE THEM A BACK MASSAGE OR A FOOT RUB....OR HELP WITH HOUSEWORK OR DINNER? Choose a gesture that really says…"I BELIEVE IN YOU AND I CHERISH YOU....I BELIEVE IN THIS MARRIAGE" AND DO IT WITH A SMILE NOT A SIGH OF INCONVENIENCE. (U WILL BE SUPRISED WHAT CHERISHING THEM CAN DO)

God bless all of u. Love u. Praying for ur marriages. Praying for strength to keep going and praying God will bring mending where healing is needed.

DAY 10 of the LOVE DARE: LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL

"God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."- Romans 5:8

Many of us fail to understand the real concept of 'unconditional love'....yet we have the most perfect example. God is our example. As parents we should come close to understanding what unconditional love is with our children. Our children are not perfect....they misbehave, talk back, get into trouble (sometimes seek it), and don't always listen to instruction. We discipline them but its because we truly love them. Now look at us, we are human...we are all sinners and we all fall short of Gods glory. We all mess up, make stipid mistakes, betray people....and hurt others. But God, being our Father (our Creator), the one who has ultimate control over our lives....gave us a gift of grace and mercy. We are disobedient children turning our backs on our Father everyday and instead of the punishment of death, He gave us the gift of life through His Son. That my friends, is our example of unconditional (AGAPE) LOVE!

When it comes to our marriages or spouses, however, AGAPE LOVE, can be much harder to practice. For us as parents it seems to come much more natural to us to love them 'no matter what'. When we marry...our vows to eachother are usually repeated as"for better or worse," "in sickness or in health," "for richer or for poorer" but how often when financial problems arise are we quick to be angry or despise our spouse? When those 'worse' times hit...how many of us are ready to call it quits? I have! I have been there....we have been there. When your spouse makes stupid decisions do u still love them? Do u really love them unconditionally?

For some of us....ur relationship started off with a frienship or sexual attraction. These also are love but different types. Friendship (PHILEO) and sexual (EROS) are an important role in marriage and are part of the house you build together as husband and wife but if your marriage is based on common interests, fun and a healthy sex life then your foundation is unstable. It will eventually crumble. Your love for ur spouse can not be based on their qualities. What reasons would we give if we were asked why we love our spouses? How many of us would be physical characterestics and other attributes? How many men would say I love my wife because she is beautiful and cooks and cleans? How many woman would say, "....because he works hard and provides for our family?" Listen, ALL those 'things' are fully capable of fading away! The looks, the acts of service, jobs and other provisions. So if they fade away...if ur spouse gets fat or loses there job....would your love for them change or would it truly be unconditional?

I believe we can not possess the ability of having unconditional (AGAPE) love if Christ is not in us. God is 'AGAPE'. He is true love. He is perfect and we are far from it. In order for us to have AGAPE and love with forgiveness...we need the holy spirits help. Love that.."bears ALL things, believes ALL things, hopes ALL things and endures ALL things," cannot come from us. It can only come God. This is Gods kind of love...and we are capable of having it by our choice...we must receive it and then we can share it.

We need to no longer say to our spouse, "I love u because....", we need to say, " I love u period." We show mercy and grace and the quality of loving them no matter what they have done....they will one day see what TRUE LOVE really is. I know this isn't easy. I know in marriage there is much hurt and pain involved at times. I have asked myself...how many times am I supposed to forgive?" The answer is too keep forgiving. My marriage started out with the wrong kind of love...matter of fact it may have been lust. My heart has been crushed and broken many times that I thought were way beyond repair. I allowed my heart to be numb and hardened...I had walls up that were built so high that there was no way in. But....I became ugly inside...poisoned with anger...I hated the feeling. I hated my marriage. I would cry to God to help me and to change my spouse. But God taught me...that it was me that needed changing. My heart needed softening...I needed to comphrend what true love was and the example of Jesus' love changed me. God was capable of loving me, a person who is a complete mess. Someone who felt immense hatred toward my own husband. I was no better than him....I was still breaking Gods heart. I was still a sinner...I made my mistakes, I broke his heart and crushed my husbands spirit. I received Gods love and I asked for His leading in my life. I asked for forgiveness and healing. Most importantly when it came to my marriage, I asked that God help me to see my husband through his eyes. Because of Jesus laying his life down for us....God only sees perfection. Through Jesus blood we are cleansed and seen as pure as snow. I wanted to the ability to see the beauty in my husband and not the blame.

Ask yourself today, how u love ur spouse. What is ur marriaged based on? Is it surfaced with friendship or based on great sex? I'm praying God will reveal to us the shape of ur hearts and he would heal those who are broken.

THE DARE: DO SOMETHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY FOR YOUR SPOUSE TODAY...SOMETHING THAT PROVES. TO BOTH OF U THAT YOUR LOVE IS BASED ON CHOICE AND NOTHING ELSE. (WASH CAR, COOK DINNER. FOLD LAUNDRY ETC...)demonstrate ur love to them as pure joy. God bless you all. Please email me if u need any prayer or just someone to listen.

DAY 9 of the LOVE DARE: LOVE MAKES GOOD IMPRESSIONS!

"GREET ONE ANOTHER WITH A KISS OF LOVE"-1 Peter 5:14

We have covered many serious aspects on this journey of love. These aspects included patience, kindness, and encouragement. They aren't always easy (very rarely easy) but they are vital and crucial to every relationship. They are pillars to holding any relationship up. Its a necessity. But now, how do we greet another, (haven't thought about this aspect)....HOW DO WE GREET OUR SPOUSE? This 'small' issue believe it or not has great significance. A greeting implies who u are n what u mean to that person. You can tell a lot about a couple's relationship from the way they greet one another. It is written all over their expressions, speech and physical contact. But how important do u consider the initial greeting?

It is even written in the Bible about how we should greet other people warmly. "Jesus noted on His Sermon on the Mount that even pagans speak kindly to people they like. Its easy for anyone to do. But Jesus took it a step further and said to be godly means to be humble and gracious enough to even greet your enemies with kindness."....OUCH! PLENTY OF TIMES I HAVE GREETED PEOPLE UNKINDLY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT GREETINGS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AWKWARD TOO ME. THAT'S WITH ANYONE, FROM MY HUSBAND TO MY BEST FRIEND TO MY NEIGHBOR...LOL. Its like I look forward to the greeting and giving them a hug and kiss on the cheek (my hubby a big fat kiss on the lip! Sorry, no kissing friends on the lips here...that's going too friendly too far...Lol) but when I see them I freeze up and feel its just easier to say 'HI!' But from a persons point of view on the receiving end...it can set the mood of the moment or visit. It can either make the experience...or break it. It can also be hurtful to them without 'greeter' even knowing it. When my hubby comes home from work and walks in the door I want him to come in and shower me with this amazing greeting. I want him to pick me up, sweep me off my feet, give me a passionate kiss and say "I missed u, how was ur day"! Ok, lol...that might be a bit much but I guess that's how I envision the enthusiasim of it.I am also guilty of being that negative greeter to my husband. I get lazy or feel awkward so I choose to say hi and give him a quick peck on the lips....but realizing all this,. It must seem so meaningless and make him feel unappreciated. So, now that I was honest, how do u greet ur friends, co-workers and spouse? How about strangers or acquaintances? A greeting is "the first impression" and can reflect who you are.

Our spouses deserve a loving and polite greeting but multiplied! We don't realize that our greetings or responses can bring on such a huge misunderstanding. If my husband were to come home and give me a fist bump or that typical man hand shake then a lil hug....I would be so hurt. I wouldn't feel at all special to him. We probabley don't realizr the first things we say in the morning, our looks on our faces when we get in the car or how the energy in our voices on the phone really set the tone. We would make such a difference if we truly expressed how we feel about our spouse when we greeted them. (But don't misunderstand me and go punch ur husband in the face because ur pissed off at him). When someone communicates that they are glad to see you, your sense of self-worth increases and you feel more important and valued.

The story of the PRODIGAL SON is a perfect example. The son was rebellious, wanted his inheritance money and chose to leave then wasted it all on a foolish lifestyle. As soon as he hit his rock bottom and those bad choices caught up with him he felt humbled and ashamed to face his father. Expecting a greeting of disappointment from his father, he instead got the best greeting. He was greeted with love, excitement, celebration, and open arms! He was embraced with a hug and a kiss. That is just like our FATHER in Heaven. We walk away, make foolish and selfish decisions, we hurt God but He is always loving and accepting us back with open arms.

We all mess up, we aren't perfect and our spouses aren't perfect and we all fall short. Your spouse may hurt you, betray you and be cold too you, but we are still called to greet 'even our enemies kindly'. Try greeting your spouse with love, forgiveness and open arms.. a loving greeting can excite ur spouse and bless them by what they see, feel or hear. It can change them and u.. love is a choice....so choose love today.

THE DARE:THINK OF A SPECIFIC WAY YOU WOULD LIKE TO GREET YOUR SPOUSE TODAY. DO IT WITH LOVE AND ENTHUSIASM. (EVEN OVER THE PHONE) THEN DETERMINE TO CHANGE YOUR GREETING TO REFLECT YOUR LOVE FOR THEM.

PRAYING FOR YOU TODAY. PRAYING GOD CHANGES UR HEARTS AND YOUR SPOUSES. GOD BLESS.

DAY 8 of the LOVE DARE: LOVE IS NOT JEALOUS! yikes!!!

"LOVE IS AS STRONG AS DEATH, ITS JEALOUSY UNYIELDING AS THE GRAVE. IT BURNS LIKE BLAZING FIRE"-SONG OF SOLOMON 8:6


"Jealousy is one of the strongest drives known to man. It comes from the root word for zeal and means 'to burn with an intense fire." Scripture says, "wrath is fierce and anger is a floodbut who can stand before jealousy?" (Proverbs 27:4)"

"There two forms of jealousy, one being LEGITIMATE jealousy and the other being ILLEGITIMATE.
Legitimate jealousy is based on love. Its when someone u love, who belongs to u, turns their heart away and gives it to someone else. For example, when a wife has an affair and gives herself to another person, her husband may have a justified jealous anger because of his love for her. He is longing to have back what is rightfully his. The Bible also describes God as having this kind of righteous jealousy for His people. God isn't envious of us, its that He longs for us, desiring for us to keep Him as our first love. '....the Lord ur God is a consuming fire, a jealous God."-Deuteronomy 4:24

ILLEGITIMATE jealousy is the opposite of LOVE. Its rooted from selfishness and means,"to be moved with envy or be resentful of someone because of their success or advantages."

For most of us jealousy is a huge and common struggle. (It goes all the way back through scripture to the story of Cain and Abel....this burning envy led to the first murder) I believe jealousy is a poison passed down from generation to generation. It's a bondage that many people live in. Jealousy can be really difficult to break free from. "Jealousy can slither its way in your heart like a viper and strike ur motivations and relationships. It can poison u from living the life of love that God intended. If we don't learn to diffuse our anger by learning to love others we may eventually begin to plot against them. The Bible says that envy leads to fighting, quarreling and every evil thing."-James 3:16, 4:1-2

Usually we are tempted to be jealous of those around us (work, neighborhood, circle of friends or aquaintances etc.) I think we woman...being as catty as we r, may be very easily tempted by it. I know myself and I have stuggled with it my whole life. We always want or desire what the other person has and sometimes when we can't have it that envy turns to anger. Its awful....even people in their marriages can struggle with jealousy. Its like a constant competition. Instead we are to be our spouses biggest fan and cheerleader! We are to share our enjoyments and success with one other. But if selfishness rules in our marriage than u may be more envious then congratulatory.for example, the hubby maybe enjoying golf on the weekend while she stays home cleaning or taking care of the kids. He talks about his great day and she's boiling with anger inside. Or maybe she's always invited to go out with friends and he has none so he always at home watching tv. Maybe one gets a promotion at work while the other has been in the same position for years. That can create resentment if ur not careful.j

LOVE isn't selfish and puts others first. When ur married u become a team. U need to celebrate ur success together. We literally need to put on that cheer uniform ladies and route for our man! Husbands u need to know ur not competing and ur wife is to complete u. Love, humility and gratefulness need to destroy any jealousy before the jealousy destroys ur relationship! Choose to keep living in the APPRECIAITION ROOM...START SHOWING GENUINE LOVE FOR UR SPOUSE...NOT BITTERNESS OR ENVY!

THE DARE: DETERMINE TO BECOME UR SPOUSES BIGGEST FAN AND DETERMINE TO REJECT ANY THOUGHTS OF JEALOUSY. TO HELP SET UR HEART ON UR SPOUSES AND FOCUS ON THEIR ACHIEVEMENTS, TAKE THE LIST OF NEGATIVES FROM YESTERDAY AND DISCREETLY BURN IT. THEN SHARE WITH YOUR SPOUSE HOW GLAD U R ABOUT A SUCCESS HE OR SHE RECENTLY ENJOYED!

Praying for everyone. Jealousy is a sneaky thing. I'm praying we will all see the motivation of our love. I encourage u before resentment or bitterness arise check ur heart...see if there are jealousies growing inside u....pray about ur struggles and ur spouses. Keep LOVE ur reason to keep going....

GOD BLESS U AND KEEP U!

DAY 7 OF THE LOVE DARE!! LOVE BELIEVES THE BEST- WOW!

".....love believes all things, hopes all things."- 1 Corintthians 13:7

WOW! I am so excited about todays message and DARE! It really put things into a different perspective when it comes to valuing ur spouse and ur relationship. So it here it goes!

Picture in "love" ur heart having 2 private rooms. On the doors of each room are signs. One door says'"APPRECIATION ROOM" and the other is entitled' "DEPRECIATION ROOM,"

In the beginning of ur relationship u develop this "Appreciation Room" first, so we will star there. Envision u going to this room and u open the doors and its this big beautiful and bright amazing room...its warm and lit up with the sun light beaming through the windows. Inside this room our words written on the walls in beauitful writing. Its all words of encouragement. This room is developed when ur love for ur spouse begins and just flourish's. You have only positive things to say. All over are ur thoughts of them written on the walls of ur heart. Words like, "loyal", "honest", "hardworker", "gorgeous" "strong" "beautiful eyes" "compassionate" etc...they are all things u have discovered about ur husband or wife that have been embedded in ur mind and heart. When u think of all those things ur appreciation for that person grows and increases. The more time u meditate on those attributes the more grateful u r for them.

Most of those attributes that were placed in the APPRECIATION ROOM were most likely written in the initial stages of the relationship. Then after being married u begin to get distracted by other things and that door closes and u visit the room less and less. Instead u focus on more negative attributes. This would be the DEPRECIATION ROOM.

So now these other walls have been built through frustrations, let downs, pain, betrayals and u now have created another room. Envision opening this door and its dark with a dim candlelight. The walls are black and there are no windows. U can feel this room has no joy. Its empty and suffocating. On these walls in bright red lettering are sad and angry words like, "selfish", "jerk", "lazy", "fat", "liar", "un-loving", etc. These are those negative thoughts that developed through hardships, stresses, and just day to day life. These are words of bitterness that spread on these walls like a disease. This is the room most of us choose to stay in...its so dark that we see no way out. But this is the room that kills relationships and that divorces r plotted in. We say ,"but these things are true!" But we all have hurts and unresolved issues and baggage.. we have all sinned and made mistakes.

However, REAL LOVE...TRUE LOVE...BELIEVES THE BEST. Love knows that "D-ROOM" but its not called that for nothing...if u choose to stay there...ur marriage will literally die. When fights happen...we need to choose to stop opening that door and re-living every horrible moment. It drains every lil piece of joy that u may have in ur marriage. We need to choose to live in the APPRECIAITION ROOM....THAT IS WHERE WE NEED TO STAY. When rough times hit, ur spouse disappoints u, yes we automatically open that other door, but it should only be to remind us of what we need to continue to pray about for them! In D- Room of ur heart....try and write in big bright white letters,"LOVE COVERS ALL". True love covers all negative. True love washes all that away and wipes the slate clean. "Love covers a multitude of sins". Remember who u r. Remember u r not perfect and the slate is constantly wiped clean for u. Jesus covered ur sins with love.

Let's try in live in the beautiful room of our heart for our spouse. Remind urself daily of the good things. Remind urself of those wonderful attributes and why u fell in love with them in the first place. I guarantee that wall will continue to be filled with increasingly positive things.

OUR DARE TODAY IS TOO GET TWO SHEETS OF PAPER. ON THE FIRST WRITE A FEW POSITIVE THINGS ABOUT UR SPOUSE. THEN WRITE THE NEGATIVE THINGS ON THE OTHER SHEET. PLACE BOTH SHEETS IN A SECRET PLACE FOR ANOTHER DAY. THERE IS A DIFFERENT PURPOSE AND PLACE FOR EACH. AT SOME POINT THROUGHOUT THE DAY PICK A POSITIVE ATTRIBUTE FROM THE LIST AND THANK UR SPOUSE FOR HAVING THAT CHARACTERISITC!

U can do it. Love u guys and ur determination. I'm praying for all ur hearts as well as ur spouses. May our APPRECIAITION ROOMS GROW BIGGER AND THE D-Rooms diminsh.

God Bless u today and always.

DAY 6 of the LOVE DARE: LOVE IS NOT IRRITABLE!!!

"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city." - Proverbs 16:32

Love is hard to offend and quick to forgive! However, many people are easy to offend and eay to give way to irritation...(I happen to be one of those people). "When something goes wrong, we quickly take full advantage of it by expressing how hurt or frustrated we are. BUT THIS IS THE OPPOSITE REACTION OF LOVE." I really never took the time to realize that.

IRRITABLE means,"to be near the point of a knife, or not far from being poked." I however am more like "to the point of a gun" (just to be suttle, lol). I am locked, loaded, and ready to shoot with over-reaction. I tend to try n hold my frustrations and anger inside...and the littlest thing will set the trigger off...and yes, I do go firing!

Irriability is one of my biggest faults...maybe some of u struggle with it too.today's entry has so many great points that I will try n make brief but to the point of understanding...so please bear with me.

"If u are walking under the influence of LOVE....U R A JOY, NOT A JERK! A loving husband will remain calm and patient, showing mercy and controlling his temper. A loving wife is not overly sensitive or cranky but excercises emotional self-control. She chooses to be a flower among the thorns and respond pleasantly during prickly situations.

Reasons for irritability: (here is where its really important u look inside ur heart and motivation of life)
1.STRESS: it drains energy and weighs us down, inviting u to be cranky.
CAUSES CAN INCLUDE: relational issues like arguing/bitterness or an unforging heart. EXCESSIVENESS; like overworking, over playing, or overspending. Or deficiencies such as lack of sleep/excercise...these r daggers we put on ourselves and sets us up to be irritable! Its so important we find balance in everything we do! Too much and too little of something will never work...BALANCE!
Here r some bible verses too help with stresses and anxieties: Colossians 3:12-14, Phillppians 4:6-7, Proverbs 25:16.

2. SELFISHNESS is a huge factor! When u r irritable, it is primarily a matter of the heart! "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks"-Matthew 12:34. "Being easily angered is usually an indicatior that a hidden area of selfishness or insecurity is present where love is suppossed to be!"
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Here is where we need to pray and really ask God what the matter of our heart is. Selfishness can mask itself in these things:
1. Lust-coveting or burning with passion for something that is forbidden
2. Bitterness-when u refuse to work through anger
3. Greed-wanting more money or possessions
4. Pride-act harshly in order to protect ur own ego.

All these lead to frustration of unfilled desires. But when ur desires and heart or motivated by LOVE...IT CHANGES U AND CHANGES THINGS. IT CALMS U AND INSPIRES U TO STOP FOCUSING ON SELF. WE NEED TO LET GO OF UNNECESSARY THINGS. Love will lead u to forgive instead of holding a grudge, be grateful instead of greedy and content instead of rushing into debt. Love sets ur heart up to respond to ur spouse with patience and encouragement.

So here is the DARE:FIRST, ask urself these questions:
1. When under pressure am I like a lemon (when squeezed...I'm sour) or am I like a peach (delightful and sweet?
2. Am I a calming breeze or a huge thunderstorm waiting to happen?
3. Where do I need to add room for growth in my life...what do I need to work on.
4. When have I recently over-reacted and what is my real motivation behind myy irritabilty

FOR YOUR SPOUSE: CHOOSE TODAY TO REACT IN LOVING WAYS TO TOUGH CIRCUMSTANCES IN YOUR MARRIAGE...CHOOSING TO STILL WEAR THE ATTRIBUTES OF KINDNESS AND PATIENCE.

I am sincerely praying for all of u. I am praying for marriages today. I pray we can all make a difference in this world and show people that there is hope to hold on and not let ur marriage be destructed! Many blessings to all...many prayers in this challenge....when it comes to being irritable....I am the worst. I choose today to give God my all so He can transform me.

God as The Navigator

sSo while out driving to my friends new house today I decided to use my navigation system on my phone. I logged in the address and on my way I went. I made sure the volume was up and my phone was in a safe place to look when I needed to glance at the map. as im almost there i got distracted and took a wrong turn that took me all the way around in a big circle. i was frustrated because i was losing the little bit of time that i had with her and wasting gas. i just wish i would have kept my focus on my navigation and wasnt distracted by what was around me.

I realized....that our lives could compare to this in so many ways! God should be our NAVIGATOR. He should be the one that guides are path in life. In most cases, however, we are the ones that want to be in control. I have gotten so distracted by the things this 'world' has to offer. I have gotten so distracted by the worries and responsibilities of this life. I let all the other things take my eyes off of my NAVIGATOR. I wasn't paying attention to signals and arrows pointing in the direction I should go! I wasn't staying in His word. I also wasn't listening to my navigator's voice. I heard a little noise but ignored His leading! I wasn't praying anymore allowing open communication and because I got distracted along the way....I stumbled off the path. I got lost...taken by a journey of hills, potholes and DEAD ENDS. It took up time and energy....I lost time with the ones I loved and in the end...those distractions weren't worth losing my way.

I honestly took this as a lessoned learned. So many times in my life I have allowed 'distractions' to take over and blind me from staying on this path with Christ. I have allowed pain, heartbreak, alcohol, self-image, anger, depression, unforgiveness, work, bills, and money to keep me from staying focused on God's Plan and DIRECTION for my life. When times got tough I took my eyes off Him and didn't listen. God is the one that needs to NAVIGATE our lives. If we choose not to listen and stay focused on the worries of this life it will lead to that long journey that never ends. You will be going in circles....getting so tired and weary. The endless journey will wear u down and will just lead to self-destruction.

Trust your NAVIGATOR. Put ur faith in His direction...at times it may not make sense and at times the journey he has planned may seem harder and longer, but the short-cuts and doing things ur way will get u lost in the end. Our Navigator see's our life's adventure from a far. He knows which path to take....He knows the obstacles in the road that come our way...but He will always find a way to get past them....

Never under-estimate the power of your Navigator.