"PLANS FAIL FOR LACK OF COUNSEL,BUT WITH MANY ADVISERS THEY SUCCEED."-PROVERBS 15:22
There is no doubt in my mind that one of the key ingredients to building a strong and healthy marriage is seeking Godly Counsel and Great Accountability! If couples face problems alone their foundation will break. God made us need fellowship for the very reason of helping each other through tough times. Those marriages that are more open to recieveing help are those marriage that pull through and grow closer together. God made us to be dependent on others...we are not strong enough to do everything on our own, nor do we have all the answers.Wise people constantly seek wise counsel and gladly receive it but fools never ask and ignore it when its given to them. The Bible states in Proverbs 12:15 that,"The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel."
I believe that when Christian couples go through tough times, it will later on be used to help others. They may not be a licensed psychologist but they have the wisdom of life experience. Couples who have been married one year may face a huge trial that a couple married for 28 years may have never faced but through their trial, they can guide the other couple, pray with them and give them advice. In Gods eyes its not age He cares about...He knows despite age or how many years you have been a believer, that ANYONE is possible of using their story to bring others to Him. That's the great thing about Gods Kingdom, its so diverse. I love the verse in 1 Timothy 4:12," Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young (in age or faith), but set an example for believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." It proves no matter what we are all useful as one of Gods tools!
You and your spouse need to be able to lean on other people. At times its humbling and sometimes embarrassing to admit that you have weaknesses and faults but God asks us to confess. He knows its good for us when we seek Godly counsel! Hebrews 3:13 says,"Encourage one another day after day....so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." Too often, if we isolate ourselves from others and push your Christian friends away it becomes a downward spiral and pretty soon the tearing apart begins. My husband and I are notorious for doing this...we have stepped away from our group of friends and isolated ourselves and pretty soon became blinded by sin. Our mentors are used as reminders as well, they refreshen us daily with Gods word. We need accountability in our lives to push us and motivate us when we are weak. We need to surround ourselves with those who will tell us what need to hear not what we wanna hear. Those are true friends, they are the ones that really love you. It needs to also be on a consistent basis like our Married Couples Group at Church, FUSE, ITS CONSISTENT. Every week we are fed in areas we hunger. We thirst for the fellowship and connecting and its there. We are able to relate with others who maybe experiencing the same trials and we can help eachother through with finding dependency in Christ first.
I cannot tell you how important it is to surround yourselves with the right people. God brings some people and friends in your life for a "season" because of His "reason". Find those who share your same beliefs above all else and they will provide for you the right wisdom. Be careful of the advice you take in. The Worlds advice will tell you opposite of Gods advice. Advice from Oprah or Dr. Phil isn't always going to be the advice given by your Pastor. Guard yourself against the wrong influencers. Ask yourself about the friends you share your deepest problems with. What are they telling you. If problems arise at home, do they tell you to meet up for a drink at the local bar? Do they advise you to leave your spouse and hook up with the hot neighbor? Do these friends send you pornographic emails and tell you obscene jokes? Then these friends will not help strengthen your marriage...they will contribute to bringing it down. Those friends are the ones you should distance from yourself for a time. Don't allow those influencers to come in...satan will use them to fed you decieving things.
If your marriage is hanging by a thread or you are going through struggles with in yourself, pray God will send you Godly mentors. Then seek it...get involved at church, join a married couples study, seek help from a pastor or counselor. I guarantee you it will strengthen you in amazing ways. Reconnecting with Christian couples and relating with them will bring you closer to your spouse. You won't feel alone in your trials. You will begin to see His amazing work as He brings people in your life with common interests! One day you will be needed to help others struggling with the same thing! Iron sharpens Iron and Christians sharpen and strengthen eachother. Rejoice in your struggles today. Be open and honest....seek out a couple whose marriage it what you wish yours would be....ask how they did it and see where the conversation goes....let your guard down to those who love God.
THE DARE: FIND A MARRIAGE MENTOR-SOMEONE WHO IS A STRONG CHRISTIAN AND WHO WILL BE HONEST AND LOVING WITH YOU. IF YOU FEEL THAT COUNSELING IS NEEDED, THEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP TO SET UP AND APPOINTMENT. OPEN UP AND SHARE YOUR STRUGGLES AND FEARS. ALLOW GOD TO RELEASE YOU FROM IT. PRAY AND ASK GOD TO DIRECT YOUR DECISIONS, DISCERNMENTS AND YOUR PATH WITH FRIENDS. TAKE A LOOK AT THE CIRCLE OF FRIENDS...ARE THEY HELPING YOU IN LEADING YOU TOWARDS GODS WAY OR ARE THEY HURTING YOU?
Praying for you today. I'm praying you will seek Godly Counsel in all decisions you and your spouse make. I'm praying you find strong accountability with other Christians and connect on consistent basis. God Bless.
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