"HOW BLESSED IS THE MAN WHO FINDS WISDOM AND THE MAN WHO GAINS UNDERSTANDING"- Proverbs 3:13
Three questions for you regarding your spouse:
1) Do u know his or hers greatest hopes and dreams?
2) Do you fully understand how they prefer to give and receive love?
3) do you know what your spouse's greatest fears are and why they struggle with them?
If you can answer all these questions correctly then you are pretty understanding of your spouse. If you can't then we need to talk! These are the deeper issues and just some examples of questions you should ask yourself often. These don't include the basics like their favorite color, food etc. If you don't know those then I think its a good idea u really start over and sit down with your spouse and desire to know the answers.
In most cases whatever you are passionate about you seek out to discover and understand. I can give you a great example. God bless my husband, love him, but I need to use him as an example. Men...you will probabley relate: My handsome husband looooovvvvveeessss football and everything about it. He seeks out to understand everything from the teams, players, stats and plays. He listens to the annoying AM RADIO channels, he reads about it, watches it, seeks stuff about it online, coaches football and even at times plays. He even has a fantasy football team. He is passionate about it, loves the thrill, it gives him the goosebumps and he gets excited over it. He constantly seeks to understand everything about Football and keeps up with it daily! Why? Because he loves it!
So know that we have a great example....How many of you do the same in your marriage? Are you passionate about your spouse? Do you discover things about them daily that just excite you and give you goosebumps? How many of you can say you understand everything about their likes, dislikes, passions, love language, hurts and heartaches? Probabley not many of us. Whatever we tend to love the most is what we seek out the most. Its all in choice and action. When we get married we get comfortable and lazy. You stop listening and discovering. You assume in the beginning that's who they are and they won't change. But some of the problems we face in our marriage is because we don't understand them and sometimes choose to not try. Men and women are totally different but when you bring the two together and throw in their different backgrounds, family dynamic and values then it really gets complex! Its like oil and vinegar...they don't mix but still go great together. All those factors of family dynamic and tragedies from the past etc all tie in to make u the person u r today! They play a huge role...that's why its time to turn off the tv, put down the newspaper, stop folding laundry and wake up! Start studying your spouse. Put more time and effort into your marriage then you do your job or extra curricular activities!
Search your heart.....what do you treasure the most? If something were to happen to your spouse or children tomorrow would u say u truly discovered everyone of their hearts needs and desires? Did you pour all your passion into God, spouse, and family or did you pour all your passions into things? Jesus warns us in Matthew 6:19-21, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and thieves do not break in and steal. FOR WHERE YOUR TREASURE IS, THERE YOUR HEART WILL BE ALSO." Its time to get serious. Its time to really search your heart, your treasures and your motive. Tomorrow is not promised. You are not in control of your life. Don't live your life and marriage with regrets.
Seek to understand God and He will give you wisdom and discernment in seeking to understand your spouse.
God Bless You Today, I am praying for all of your hearts and passions. I'm praying you would all choose to be passionate about a relationship with Christ, then your Marriage, and then your family. I'm praying God would show you where your time and energy is spent. I'm praying for you.
THE DARE: CHOOSE TODAY TO REALLY SEARCH YOUR HEART. THEN CHOOSE TO PUT GOD FIRST THEN YOUR MARRIAGE AND THEN YOUR FAMILY. SERIOUSLY CHOOSE TO UNDERSTAND YOUR SPOUSE AND STUDY THEM. TONIGHT IF THE OPPURTUNITY ARISES MAKE A NICE DINNER OR DESSERT. TURN OF THE TELEVISION AND STUDY YOUR SPOUSE. TALK ABOUT THE BASICS OF YOUR LIKES AND DISLIKES. THEN TAKE IT TO A DEEPER LEVEL. AND ASK THEY NEED TO BE LOVED. ASK WHAT THEY FEARS ARE AND WHY. CHOOSE TO BE PASSIONATE AND LEARN SOMETHING NEW ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE. PLEASE BE KIND, NO ARGUING OR DEFENSIVENESS AND PLEASE REALLY LISTEN. IF THE CONVERSATION TURNS TO TEARS....BE COMPASSIONATE. END WITH A HUG OR PASSIONATE KISS.
MANY BLESSINGS......
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