"God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."- Romans 5:8
Many of us fail to understand the real concept of 'unconditional love'....yet we have the most perfect example. God is our example. As parents we should come close to understanding what unconditional love is with our children. Our children are not perfect....they misbehave, talk back, get into trouble (sometimes seek it), and don't always listen to instruction. We discipline them but its because we truly love them. Now look at us, we are human...we are all sinners and we all fall short of Gods glory. We all mess up, make stipid mistakes, betray people....and hurt others. But God, being our Father (our Creator), the one who has ultimate control over our lives....gave us a gift of grace and mercy. We are disobedient children turning our backs on our Father everyday and instead of the punishment of death, He gave us the gift of life through His Son. That my friends, is our example of unconditional (AGAPE) LOVE!
When it comes to our marriages or spouses, however, AGAPE LOVE, can be much harder to practice. For us as parents it seems to come much more natural to us to love them 'no matter what'. When we marry...our vows to eachother are usually repeated as"for better or worse," "in sickness or in health," "for richer or for poorer" but how often when financial problems arise are we quick to be angry or despise our spouse? When those 'worse' times hit...how many of us are ready to call it quits? I have! I have been there....we have been there. When your spouse makes stupid decisions do u still love them? Do u really love them unconditionally?
For some of us....ur relationship started off with a frienship or sexual attraction. These also are love but different types. Friendship (PHILEO) and sexual (EROS) are an important role in marriage and are part of the house you build together as husband and wife but if your marriage is based on common interests, fun and a healthy sex life then your foundation is unstable. It will eventually crumble. Your love for ur spouse can not be based on their qualities. What reasons would we give if we were asked why we love our spouses? How many of us would be physical characterestics and other attributes? How many men would say I love my wife because she is beautiful and cooks and cleans? How many woman would say, "....because he works hard and provides for our family?" Listen, ALL those 'things' are fully capable of fading away! The looks, the acts of service, jobs and other provisions. So if they fade away...if ur spouse gets fat or loses there job....would your love for them change or would it truly be unconditional?
I believe we can not possess the ability of having unconditional (AGAPE) love if Christ is not in us. God is 'AGAPE'. He is true love. He is perfect and we are far from it. In order for us to have AGAPE and love with forgiveness...we need the holy spirits help. Love that.."bears ALL things, believes ALL things, hopes ALL things and endures ALL things," cannot come from us. It can only come God. This is Gods kind of love...and we are capable of having it by our choice...we must receive it and then we can share it.
We need to no longer say to our spouse, "I love u because....", we need to say, " I love u period." We show mercy and grace and the quality of loving them no matter what they have done....they will one day see what TRUE LOVE really is. I know this isn't easy. I know in marriage there is much hurt and pain involved at times. I have asked myself...how many times am I supposed to forgive?" The answer is too keep forgiving. My marriage started out with the wrong kind of love...matter of fact it may have been lust. My heart has been crushed and broken many times that I thought were way beyond repair. I allowed my heart to be numb and hardened...I had walls up that were built so high that there was no way in. But....I became ugly inside...poisoned with anger...I hated the feeling. I hated my marriage. I would cry to God to help me and to change my spouse. But God taught me...that it was me that needed changing. My heart needed softening...I needed to comphrend what true love was and the example of Jesus' love changed me. God was capable of loving me, a person who is a complete mess. Someone who felt immense hatred toward my own husband. I was no better than him....I was still breaking Gods heart. I was still a sinner...I made my mistakes, I broke his heart and crushed my husbands spirit. I received Gods love and I asked for His leading in my life. I asked for forgiveness and healing. Most importantly when it came to my marriage, I asked that God help me to see my husband through his eyes. Because of Jesus laying his life down for us....God only sees perfection. Through Jesus blood we are cleansed and seen as pure as snow. I wanted to the ability to see the beauty in my husband and not the blame.
Ask yourself today, how u love ur spouse. What is ur marriaged based on? Is it surfaced with friendship or based on great sex? I'm praying God will reveal to us the shape of ur hearts and he would heal those who are broken.
THE DARE: DO SOMETHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY FOR YOUR SPOUSE TODAY...SOMETHING THAT PROVES. TO BOTH OF U THAT YOUR LOVE IS BASED ON CHOICE AND NOTHING ELSE. (WASH CAR, COOK DINNER. FOLD LAUNDRY ETC...)demonstrate ur love to them as pure joy. God bless you all. Please email me if u need any prayer or just someone to listen.
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