"Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers."- 3 John 2
WE CANNOT CHANGE OUR SPOUSE! As much as we would love to change them from the inside out we just don't have that kind of power! We cannot play God and reach into their brain and heart and mold them into who we want them to do be. But most couples spend a majority of their time trying to do that! I think the motherly instinct in us women sometimes takes control and we don't realize that the nuturing part of us tries to 'teach' our husbands the way we think they should be taught. Or we will jump into a relationship because we believe we can help that person...we tend to wanna rescue.
I can honestly say when I met my husband he was not a Christian. I knew the Lord and believed in my heart (and justified dating him) that I could win him over to Christ. I had the right intention but wrong motive. The Spirit was willing but my flesh was soooo weak. God tells us to not be unequally yoked for a reason. The pain, frustration and consequences that come are difficult. I realized after having kids then getting married it was going to be an even longer road then I thought. I couldn't change my husband no matter what I did, how I acted or what I said. I was beyond frustrated and basically going insane. I lost sight of God and who God wanted me to be because I was so focused on trying to gain acceptance from my spouse. I would talk about God, I would drag him to church, I would pray with kids and do bible studies, I would try n be quiet n submissive and when those things didn't work I would completly blow my example by screaming, yelling and crying. I would point the finger and blame him for our jacked up life because he wasn't a Christian. I turned psycho over the frustration of having no control over him. I wanted to literally beat him with a hose until he cried out for Jesus! Lol.....and after all that he would say, "if that's how a Christian acts...then I don't wanna be one!" Everything I tried did the opposite! God tells us in 1 Peter 3:1, "wives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words but by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives." We need to tame our tongues and focus on our relationship with Christ so He can change us and make our hearts pure. We need Gods hand in all of it.
We need to be like the "Wise Farmer". A farmers life is based on faith and trust. A farmer cannot make a seed grow into a fruitful crop. He cannot argue, manipulate, force growth or demand it grow. All he can do is plant the seed into fertile soil, give it water and nutrients, protect it from weeds and then turn it over to God. This is a great example for us. We can plant the seed, nuture it with spiritual food, follow Gods directions and most importantly we must PRAY!
EFFECTIVE PRAYER IN YOUR LIFE AND MARRIAGE is huge! Just yesterday, a beautiful elderly couple came into my work. They shared with me how they have been married 50 years. I asked what the secret was to holding it together that long and she replied,"I spent everyday on my knees praying for hours. Without God and prayer it wouldn't have worked!" Amen to that! Change doesn't happen over night and this Challenge may not work the first time around. But it will hopefully teach you the things you need to change within yourself. With a humble heart we must pray and be willing to accept the things WE cannot change and really give it to God. If u desire to have a stronger marriage most likely it will need to start with yourself and changing you from the inside out.
I prayed for my husband to know Christ for years. He accepted Christ in his life 5 years ago but it has taken him until recently to really develop and seek a relationship with Him. Its not easy. Its been a long rough road for us and yes I wanted to give up and I did for a year. Divorce was the only option for me, my heart had been through enough and so had our children. But honestly the grass wasn't greener on the other side. That life was rough too. I gave up on God...I stopped getting on my knees, I stopped praying for my spouse and didn't believe God could do the miracle of changing him. But I realized it wasn't just him that needed change....it was me too. I was guilty of having a 'holier than thou' attitude. I needed to be humbled and changed from the inside out. I need to be reminded that, I too, made mistakes and hurt him. God changed our hearts for eachother a year after seperation. God brought both of us to our knees...where we should have been in the first place.
My point today, DO NOT GIVE UP. GET ON YOUR KNEES. PRAY FOR UR MARRIAGE. PRAY FOR WISDOM. PRAY GOD CHANGES UR HEART FIRST AND THEN UR SPOUSES. This challenge is not promised to change your marriage completly. However, I promise that if you get on your knees and pray and carry out each DARE with all ur heart, then your spouse will be affected in some way and your marriage will begin to bloom. It may take weeks, months or in my case...almost 10 years. But if God is first and he is the foundation of your life you will be on the road to success. Depend on God for making the changes.
THE DARE: BEGIN PRAYING FOR YOUR SPOUSE'S HEART TODAY! START BY PRAYING FOR 3 SPECIFIC AREAS WHERE U DESIRE FOR GOD TO WORK IN YOUR SPOUSES LIFE AND IN YOUR MARRIAGE.
I am praying for all marriages today. I'm praying for those marriages that are barely hanging on. I'm praying you will get on your knees and cry out to Jesus. I'm praying God will give you a humble heart and open mind. I'm praying every one of u will daily lift ur spouse up in prayer. I'm praying you will weed out all the bad and nuture and bring back to life the good. God Bless you.
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