"Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."- Phillippians 2:4
How many of u if asked what u and ur spouse disagree about can create a list in seconds? Whether they r minimual disagreements like how to do the dishes or huge disagreements like how many children to have or financial issues, as long as they aren't dealt with they will continue to surface in ur marriage?
Everyone has a lil case of stubborness. We were born with it. Stubborness means to be unyielding, headstrong, immovable or unbendable. The opposite of stubborn is to be 'willing', tractable, and easily moved or shaped. A lot of us aren't willing to be tractable. I think some huge factors are fear, trust, and a sense of pride. We think our way is always the right way. This I am guilty of. Eventually stubbornness will put its wear and tear on a marriage. Everytime you choose to be unbendable or ignore those 'issues' in your marriage you seperate and disconnect little by little. When u choose ur way in stead of giving in a lil ur spouse will be hurt and let down. This is when walls come up, resentment sets in etc. The rope that holds u together begins to fray everytime u choose 'ur way.'
Instead of being stubborn we need to follow Jesus example of 'willing' and unselfish love. Could u imagine Jesus telling his Father,"No God, I completely disagree with u. I can't lay down my life for these stubborn and imperfect people u created. I can't save this human race. They are unsavable. I however, am without blemish or blame...they dont deserve for me to die for them." Jesus would never say that! Jesus was WILLING AND UNSELFISH IN LOVE. We are to follow His example in our marriage. Just as he saved us through a willing spirit, we need to save our marriages with an unselfish love and willing spirit. If we love our spouse and would lay down our life for them we need to be willing to compromise!
Compromise means to settle a disagreement with mutual concessions. Somewhere in between the issue u gotta meet in the middle. Someone or somethings gotta give. Being stubborn will never help u win. U will lose in the end. You will not always see eye to eye on everything...we aren't clones. You never know the blessing God can have for you as a couple if u would be obedient, listen to one another, have and open mind/heart and really treat each other with love and respect.
I know that there are certain issues that should never be compromised in a relationship. Sexual immorality is one that should never be compromised. Abuse should never be compromised. Making money in illegal ways should never be compromised etc. Issues that you know our biblically wrong in God's eyes should never be a question of compromise. You all know issues that put your family or marriage at risk should never even be a doubt in your mind. I'm talking about issues that are causing a hinderence that keep you from growing closer together.
If u love ur spouse...if u desire to keep things going then really pray about these issues whether they are small or big. Remember what maybe 'small' to u may be 'huge' to ur spouse. That's why u need to sit back and really reflect. Really think with an unselfish, Christlike love. When u can learn to see things through ur spouses eyes....it changes u. I am praying we will all learn to find a healthy balance of compromise in our marriages. I pray ur love to ur spouse will be revealed as 'Christ's' love. There are things in some of ur marriages that require a huge sacrafice. Think about it today. Is there a sacrafice you are willing to make in order to find compromise in ur marriage and help u to flourish?
THE DARE:TAKE TIME TO REFLECT ON UR MARRIAGE TODAY. WHAT DISAGREEMENTS (small or large) DO U HAVE ON A CONTINUOUS BASIS? WHERE DO U NEED TO FIND COMPROMISE? IS IT AS SMALL AS THE DISHES OR YARDWORK? IS IT FINANCES,A JOB SIUATION, UR CHILDREN or anything else that causes a hinderence (in ur spouses eye's) DEMONSTRATE UR LOVE TODAY BY WILLINGLY CHOOSING TO GIVE IN TO AN AREA OF DISAGREEMENT BETWEEN U AND UR SPOUSE. FIND RESOLUTION AND COMPROMISE. TELL THEM U CHOOSE THEIR PREFERENCE FIRST. (Sacrafice urself)
GOD BLESS U ALL RICHLY IN UR LIVES, HOMES, FAMILY AND ESPECIALLY YOUR MARRIAGE.
AMEN!
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